Polarity
by AnberlinEve
Summary: He hadn't given her much thought before back when he had been dating her friend. (LawNa, with Frobin as a sidedish and a starting twist from LawRo. College AU.)
1. First Impressions

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but insomnia brought on by weeks of shitty assignments.

**IMPORTANT A/N: **

Firstly, please note that this is a Law x Nami fic as advertised. Worry not, there is NO tragic love triangle, unnecessary drama, sappiness, instant romance or character hate, I just thought it would make sense for Law x Robin to happen first in this AU given their similarities. Overall, this AU is similar to my other College OP fic, so Zoro has both eyes and Franky looks like himself pre-two year gap. But, this one roughly runs along the same time span as Dressrosa arc, minus the canon trauma. This is also a prequel to Type, which is located in my oneshots dump.

It is perfectly fine if the pairings are not your cuppa' coffee. I will gladly accept 'flames' for any OOCness, disgusting use of English, or if I bore you to death with my lameness, ill characterizations and absurd interactions, BUT not for the argument that you simply hate the pairings please. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. :)

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He hadn't given her much thought before back when he had been dating her friend. No, in fact, the only thing he had taken notice of was the brilliant shock of sunset orange hair, giving her a feel of hotly contained energy in comparison with her cool, stoic dark haired companion.

"Nico-ya," he had called out and the tall, dark haired woman had turned to him with a small smile, remembering their dinner date. They had been going out for nearly seven months by then.

"I'll be going now, Nami-san, see you later in school," Robin had said to her redheaded friend. The other girl had nodded, barely acknowledging his presence as she waved goodbye and disappeared in a flash, her hair a fiery comet's tail trailing behind her.

Dinner that night had been the usual dark, teasing banter served alongside red wine in a posh restaurant. Despite them both being rather quiet individuals, they had over time lapsed into a habit of comfortable silences, casual small talk, witty debates and polite conversation that occasionally bordered on the morbid side.

Trafalgar Law was never the romantic type and believed love to be a typical chain of chemical reactions in the human brain. That wouldn't change, he knew himself far too well and years of medical and scientific jargon had hardwired his mind let alone his personality into entering a relationship solely for the physical benefits. After all, he was still a red-blooded male and although he didn't believe in the whole 'woman of his dreams' concept, Nico Robin logically came close to it, them being similarly calm, reserved, quiet, level-headed individuals with a taste for the morbid. They had clicked well, and once that fact had solidified he had asked her out and history went on its due course.

They hardly ever got into arguments, and the only ones that happened were rare, usually ending after both their cold shoulders had worn off given enough time and preoccupations with other things. Dates consisted of the typical activities couples did, he made the dinner or movie reservations after her hints or suggestions and picked her up after school at the university's front gates. On some occasions they held horror movie nights, visits to museums and historical sites, and on a few others she managed to cajole him into dancing, going to jazz music pubs and poetry recitals. She didn't mind him stepping on her feet by accident in tango classes, and was usually too enraptured in an ongoing movie or a poet's passionate speech to notice him zoning out in his own thoughts.

Their sex life was great too, granted her dexterous ability with her hands could be thanked for that aspect of their lives and them being ridiculously good looking people made for the rest of the attraction. She wasn't turned off when he wanted to try out new things, often going along smoothly though she put her foot down on some of what she regarded as embarrassing or disgusting notions. Sex (he didn't like to think of it as lovemaking) usually took place on the bed, on exquisite sheets of the finest silk or Egyptian cotton. She would at times light up scented candles and play soft jazz tunes to set the mood to her liking, and scatter rose petals along the bed whilst she approached him in her silk negligees. She was all soft moans and light sighs whenever they had sex and he enjoyed coaxing the sounds out of her, as she wasn't the vocal type. He didn't mind, as there really hadn't been anything to complain about much.

He played the part of the devilish gentleman well, remembering her likes, dislikes, anniversaries and special occasions, having planned out the dates long beforehand. She hadn't begun to push their relationship further for now, and he was thankful for that, given his track record on dating commitments the moment they went beyond the three words. She never said it to him outright but she didn't need to, he knew her way of showing affection was mainly through her smiles and subtle actions. Also, neither of them had started out with a serious relationship in mind especially he, and had both decided on a 'let the river run its course' option when they had initiated it.

They had mutual friends, two groups of starkly varied people with a commonality of jovial individuals on each side. Their friends clicked together smashingly well and none of them teased the couple much so all was essentially fine. He knew her friends almost as well as his given enough time spent together, and his own quaint bunch of mates treated her with polite respect. He even hung out with them often, or rather, he could say a certain Monkey D. Luffy dragged him into the rowdy gatherings while a giggling Robin watched on.

The boy with the black hole of an appetite wasn't that bad actually, not that he would ever admit it to anyone out loud. If it weren't for his obnoxious, reckless ways he would have been more than bearable. Franky had welcomed him in his own whacky, super way, but he had always sensed an awkward undercurrent beneath, one that sparked whenever he appeared next to Robin. The blue haired mechanical engineering scholarship student was in love with her, he knew it in his guts and he couldn't care less as it wasn't a problem to him. The musician with the afro, Brook, hadn't minded him at all whereas the other two apprehensive individuals, Chopper and Usopp, had gotten over their initial fear after seeing Luffy trash his remaining dignity to the floor with the god awful nicknames. Thank the devil Robin never called him by them and instead opted for referring to him by his given name in her usual polite manner.

He didn't care much for the blonde guy, what's his name – Sanji, but respected him as a top apprentice chef and good albeit annoying friend of Robin's. The one guy who appeared intimidating, Roronoa Zoro, turned out to be pretty laid back like him and they had gotten somewhat closer over late night beers and sparring sessions.

Curiously, the only person he hadn't taken the time or had been given the opportunity to know better was the one who crashed over at his friends' and Robin's houses often, sometimes with the rest of the gang and many other times alone. There had also been uncountable instances where he had walked into his own kitchen dressed only in his black and white patterned boxers to find the redhead lounging on the tabletop kicking her heels in the air whilst enjoying a cup of coffee. The first time it happened she had froze for all of two seconds before getting over her embarrassment like it was nothing and continued to wave her legs about as if daring him to order her to get the hell off his kitchen table.

"Morning, Torao," she had said with a brisk nod of her head, rattling off his nickname without a care for the lack of familiarity between them. "Bepo and the others invited me over last night. Sorry for the mess, Friday's poker night, you know. As usual, they're still a bunch of lightweights. Hope you don't mind me stealing some of your coffee."

He could only nod dumbfounded at her through a half-awake mind and turn towards the cabinets. She hadn't moved off the table at all when he went about preparing his own jar of coffee to kick-start his lazy Saturday. He preferred his coffee black and strong, similar to Robin. Judging by what was in the wastebasket, she liked her coffee with two sugars and a side of creamer.

He hadn't bothered with small talk and pretended she wasn't peering at him curiously from over her yellow-rimmed coffee mug with an evil smiley face on it. _His_ coffee mug. Then, as impromptu as her appearance, she had hopped off the tabletop, rinsed his mug and rushed off with a smirk saying she had to go before Shachi realized her artwork.

An angry yell had erupted in the bathroom half an hour later and Law had to hold back his mirth at the…tasteful décor on Shachi's face as he came stalking through the house looking for the girl who had been long gone. His face had been adorned with expertly applied makeup, and a beauty mole to boot. The wench even had the gall to sign off with her name and the amount he owed her on the side of his neck in flamingo pink permanent marker.

Her appearances at his home soon became a common thing and as per usual, he never had the time or incentive to speak two full sentences to her before she was up and running away to or from whatever activity she had in mind next. It was rather reminiscent of another person with a straw hat, however, this girl didn't openly seek him out to bug him nonstop. Not that he cared, of course.

She could be found at Robin's house when he was heading over to pick Robin up for their date, either lounging on the sofa like an overgrown cat watching one of the classic horror collections in broad daylight, sitting around at the table sketching away while humming a tune, or playing on Luffy's stolen PSP with intense violence and swear words which made Robin raise her eyebrows. Once, Robin had raised a finger to her lips telling him to keep quiet as she went back into the bedroom and later returned with a sleep rumpled, grouchy Nami.

He paid her no heed and was mildly amused by what he observed to be her antics. The girl was a walking firecracker, volatile and vividly emotive with a similarly short fused temper to match. She appeared in his Psychology elective one day having taken up the class, had looked at him startled and shrugged it off with a simple "Oh, it's you, morning." She then proceeded to sit her ass down next to him after asking if the seat was taken and not waiting to hear his answer. Any of his concerns that she would interfere with his listening in class was laid to rest when she proved to be surprisingly bright and independent in her studies, and hadn't bothered him in the slightest. He took it as a small blessing she wasn't the motor mouth, attention deficit Luffy who insisted on passing notes during class and poking him in the arm with a pencil until he had no choice but to entertain his childish whims.

They didn't talk much in the beginning weeks, though he had heard enough snippets of conversation about her from the gossiping girls in the hallways and guys in the gym locker room. It didn't surprise him that some of it was negative. Several of the girls had labeled her as a bitch and easy while the guys secretly dubbed her the Black Cat for her sex kitten appeal yet standoffish attitude. He didn't care for school drama or politics, those girls were usually the same ones who backstabbed each other and the guys the typical assholes. He didn't know if she herself was aware of the accusations flying around concerning her. She gave off the feeling she didn't give a damn if they thought she was whoring out to the headmaster or janitor. Her closest female friends included Robin, the blue haired girl Vivi, and her tattooed sister Nojiko, all of whom would defend her to the last and she them from what he had seen.

Her reputation wasn't helped by the fact that she sported a tattoo over her arm, was prone to violent tendencies on the idiots amongst her friends and rode to school in style on a big black classic Harley Davidson chopper. Her own sister drove to school in a vintage Cadillac. She being the resident con artist was the icing on the cake where she regularly went about berating strangers and friends alike about owing her tons of money with criminal interest amounts. He had been careful to avoid taking her up on her offers of help with his homework and other little things in this sense. Yet for the most part he wasn't worried even if he did rack up horrendous amounts of debt in her little black book, for he had never seen any of her friends really paying her back the impossible fees. They were just impossible to pay back in any way and he had his personal speculations on it.

His own reputation was just as notorious, perhaps even more so taking into consideration his dark, aloof demeanor and sadistic penchants. The key difference was, he was somehow secretly popular with the girls and the guys respected him enough out of fear to give him a wide berth. Except that bastard Eustass Kid, who regularly sought him out just to antagonize him. Not that he didn't enjoy their bloody back alley fights.

It wasn't until their forced study sessions that she began to get under his skin. It had started out as group projects, cramming for tests and examinations, except that two out of five of the group rarely turned up and the other had dropped out of the elective. In short, it became only the two of them in a small study room surrounded by books the thickness of dictionaries and styrofoam cups half empty with cheap coffee on weekday evenings and nights.

After a mind numbing long day of textbook analysis, Nami had stretched forth onto the table like a cat extending her claws, yawned delicately and then said she was heading out to the vending machine to get more Redbull. He had nodded at her and continued reading the treacherous books until more than twenty minutes had passed without her returning.

Tired of waiting, he had gone out to the deserted hallways to find her when he came to a halt at the sight of her kicking the shit out of the vending machine.

"Stupid machine, give me back my one dollar and fifty cents," she grumbled, aiming kicks that even Sanji would have been proud of at the abused hunk of metal. "Ugh, I at least need to stay awake and not get bored to death, damn it."

"Taking your anger out on and speaking to inanimate objects is a sign of mental breakdown. You might need to get your head checked, not just your leg if you keep this up." He remarked, walking up to her and startling her out of her violent impulses.

"Oh geez, it's just you, don't creep up on me like that," she said and looked towards him with a hopeful expression. "You think you could help me get my drink or money out of this thing?"

He paused to regard the machine. He could easily slice it open with his nodachi, but that would mean damage of property and he wasn't going to pay for that or let it sully his pristine track record for medical school. Kicking it more wouldn't be of much use and it would most probably fall on them and crush them to death if they applied the wrong force.

"Not if you and I wish to become another yearly statistic in deaths caused by falling vending machines." He stated, continuing to observe her calmly.

"Oh-kay…" She said slowly with one raised eyebrow at his reply and leant back against the wall in a sigh of defeat. "Well, now that's over with my mood is spoiled to continue studying."

"I hadn't pegged you as a skiver, Nami-ya." He commented in a bland drawl.

What he had not expected was for her to shoot him a glare and huff at him in irritation. "Oh come on, we've been reading Freud for over five hours straight. If I have to read any more on how everyone's born sexually attracted to his or her own mothers, I'd sooner commit a Freudian Slip myself. I don't know about you, but I haven't had dinner and I'm gonna go grab a bite."

She stared at him reproachfully as if daring him to object.

"I have nothing to argue against when you put it that way. Though, you've overlooked an important point." He said.

"Which is what, exactly?" She asked pointedly.

He stared back at her, internally wondering how she was still not getting it. "It's an hour to midnight, I highly doubt you'll find any shop to be open."

"Oh that's what you're concerned about?" She asked, bouncing back on her heels with a sly grin. "I know just the place that's still open for service."

She was already halfway down the hallway before he could even reply her, and abruptly spun back to throw him an impatient look.

"Well? What are you standing there gaping around for? You hungry or not?"

A phone call later, he found them seated in the back of a small French restaurant being waited on by an all too familiar face.

"Grilled dory with Italian pesto sauce and marinated chickpea sandwiches with lemon confit," Sanji pronounced, serving up their dishes with a flourish and flashing an adoring gaze at Nami when she thanked him. "Anything for you, my beautiful Nami-swan!"

Apparently, the apprentice chef could be found practicing his culinary skills deep into the night on most weekdays and was no doubt more than overjoyed to cook for Nami, or any gorgeous female for that matter.

After Sanji's retreat into the kitchen, the duo settled into the comfort of their food amidst a slight edge of awkward silence.

Their lack of conversation didn't bother him, but he could tell it made her somewhat uncomfortable from the small glances she stole at him over her sandwich and the way she thought she was being low key with her fiddling of the knife in her hand.

"So…have you made any plans with Robin on Valentine's day?" She finally blurted out at him after a minute's fidgeting.

He saw no reason not to tell her. "Dinner. Movie. Probably some chocolates before the se-"

"Stop! Enough! Too much information," she said with a slightly reddened face whilst frantically waving a hand to halt him from elaborating any further. "I don't need to know the gory details of you and Robin's sex life."

He quirked an eyebrow at her forceful response, smirking a bit. "Why ever not? I assume you girls like to exchange tips about these kind of things. Not to offend, but you don't strike me as the prudish type."

Her expression rapidly turned sour. "Well, you can blab about your…_details_ to whoever you want but some people have better things to do than be interested in the private lives of others."

"And what will others like you be preoccupied with on February the 14th?" He asked dryly.

Her self-satisfied expression was not what he had anticipated. "I'm actually going anti-V-day." She stated proudly.

"Let me guess. You're staging a protest against the commercialism of this date out of a feminist movement. Or…you do not have a date in the first place." He stated mockingly.

"Wrong on both counts," she said, leaning back and folding her arms in a smug smile. "I'm no feminist, and so far I really have way too many offers to count." She continued, glancing back at the kitchen with a strange look of apprehensive distaste. "You won't believe how many of these sad guys come up with the same old thing every other day at that time of the year. Sure it's romantic the first few times, but then it just gets so…so clichéd and boring. There's only so many times a girl can see the phrase 'Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Your hair is Orange and I love it too' repeated on cheesy V-day cards. It gets old fast. Not to mention being a rip off the way they inflate the prices of flowers and chocolates all for the sake of one date."

"Plus, I need to hide out from some pesky admirers." She added, finishing off with a satisfied expression.

The next several weeks revealed more of her odd quirks, some of which he paid no attention to and others, which ticked him off in unprecedented ways.

During their study sessions, he discovered she tended to talk to herself whenever she came across a particularly difficult topic, often reading it out loud and trying to make sense of it while softly cursing under her breath. She would also fidget around in her seat and switch positions every few minutes in these instances. No doubt, she probably thought he wouldn't notice or didn't care if he did. Most other times, she would become so focused on her work she never once looked up when he got up to leave for the washroom and back.

Fortunately for him, he was becoming desensitized to outward annoyances due to Luffy's never-ending antics, but what had happened that day had still thrown him wholly off-balance.

"Torao-kun," she had said cautiously in that horrid nickname. "You are the top student in class, right?"

He waited for her to continue with her statement, feeling slightly on edge at where she was headed with this.

"Which means…you would be well versed in topic number seven." She said.

"Psychopathy and Criminal Behaviour." He stated, recalling the topic title.

"I'm doing a research essay on that…" She said, trailing off and directing an anticipatory gaze at him.

"And in what regard does that have to do with me?" He asked with a certain amount of suspicion, not liking where the conversation was going.

"Would you do me the honor of being my interviewee?" She said in a rush and quickly carried on rambling before he could object. "I mean, it's too obvious that you are one, a psychopath of course, so what's the point of hiding it. Why not offer yourself to science, since you are a medical student and all. Like what Chopper would say – uh, for the sake of humanity and life and whatever…something like that. And_ if_ you're thinking of saying no, I have one reason that will make you change your mind." She finished with a shrewd, defiant look as he mentally processed what the hell had just occurred.

She had called him a psychopath and appeared confident enough that he would take her up on her audacious request.

"What are you offering if I agree to your interview?" He asked, twisted curiosity getting the better of him. Whatever she had, it had better be good.

"Eustass Kid," was all she said with a cunning grin.

"What of him?" He asked, his attention riveted now at the thought of his enemy in arms.

"He's my other interviewee." She said. "I'll let you in on _all_ of his dirty little secrets. Whatever I can dig out of him, that is, if you agree to be my interviewee."

He could not ignore the allure of her case, but he had one main concern about her offer.

"How will I be certain you won't offer him the same thing with me?" He asked with narrowed eyes.

She had the audacity to gape at him in a mixture of scandalized incredulity.

"Why would I do that? What kind of person do you think I am?" She began arguing and then stopped with a resigned huff. "Ok, I get it, the money and interest thing. Right. Look, I may be…able to get things I want through certain actions that may not appeal to the…_moral_ side of others but I wouldn't stoop so low as to throw the guy my friend's dating under the bus. Also, I'm sure you can manage Kid _just fine_."

The way she finished her sentence made him thoughtful on exactly how much she was aware of that went on in the hidden back alleys of the city.

"So? Are you interested or not?" She asked impatiently.

He felt the corners of his mouth stretch out into a full-blown, sadistic grin on their own accord. "You may begin any time."

What he hadn't taken into account was the unforeseen nature of her questions.

"So…you like hard rock, metal, dark music, the colours red, white, yellow and black, bears, films with grandiose amounts of gore and torture, sharp objects, human…dissection, blood, revenge, and things that amuse you. And you dislike pop, country, classical music, the colour pink, flamingoes, slapstick comedy films and chick flicks, bread, ume fruit, getting embarrassed, ignored and told what to do, your plans getting foiled, and things that annoy or bore you." Nami said, rattling off the long list of things she had pried out of Law. "Any comment on why those colours appeal to you?"

"Red is the colour of blood, white makes it stand out most, and yellow and black are the universal colours of danger." He said in a bored monotone.

"Oh-kay…" She said, raising her eyebrows at his answer. "What's with the hatred towards the flamingoes and bread?"

"No personal questions."

"How is that a – _Fine_, moving on. Most sadistic thought you had."

"Dissecting the body parts of my victims while they're alive and reassembling them into bloodied specimens without the use of morphine. Cutting out their hearts to hear them scream as I slowly slice into their-"

"_Moving on_, most sadistic dream you had."

"Dissecting a flock of flamingoes after painfully removing their feathers without use of anesthetics with a ten inch long needle and pliers. Each of their beaks were slowly pulled off with a vice and their necks sliced open multiple times to be twisted into-"

"MOVING ON, childhood background and trauma."

"No personal questions."

"Have you ever been bullied?"

"No."

"Ever bullied someone?"

"Bullying was the least of what I would do."

"_Oh-kay._ Ever gloated at someone else's misery or misfortune?"

"Yes."

"How often?"

"…"

"That many, huh? So what motivates you?"

"Revenge. Dissection. Death."

"That's…Nice? What makes you excited?"

"Revenge. Dissection. Death. The screams of prey as I-"

"Describe your ideal revenge."

"It would be planned out meticulously. Long and painful and well worth the wait."

"How do you blend into society without being caught for criminal actions and put in jail?"

"Your question assumes I've either already committed a crime severe enough to land me a sentence or have been careless enough to get caught."

"Point taken. Does the thought of kicking a puppy appeal to you?"

"Does it involve dissection?"

"No."

"Then the answer is no."

"Does the idea of bathing in the blood of virgins appeal to you?"

"…On what basis are you comparing me to the Countess Elizabeth Bathory?"

"Ok fine, how about the blood of your enemies?"

"Too sticky and unhygienic."

"_Oh-kay._ Have you ever thought of eating a human being?"

"…Not all psychopaths are cannibals, Miss Nami."

"But have you ever felt the urge to?"

"…"

"Alright, alright, next question. Have you ever thought of murder?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever felt the urge to commit murder?"

He stared at her, deliberating what she would say if he told her that was precisely what he felt like doing to her right then if she didn't stop interrogating him like a corrupted judge.

"Since you're not answering that, how do you suppress any urges of killing?"

"I don't."

"What? You mean you don't have them or you don't suppress them?"

"Next question." He said, feeling a headache coming on similar to whenever Luffy was in the vicinity.

"Have you ever committed murder?"

He thought he heard the audible snap of his last thread of patience.

"_Miss Nami._" He said, biting out the words through gritted teeth. "I believe what I agreed to was an interview, not a criminal interrogation."

She flushed a light pink at his words, short-lived embarrassment blossoming on her face before quickly transforming into an indignant expression.

"I was only asking questions related to the text! It's not my fault if you get all sensitive about some issues."

"Then why is it that I am forced to feel like a criminal without a lawyer in front of a court that's bent on sentencing me to life imprisonment or hanging?" He said in a scathingly bitter tone.

"What - I didn't know you felt that way!" Nami exclaimed, looking both exasperated and the tiniest bit guilty. "You didn't even answer the personal questions and you didn't say anything – alright, fine, I'm sorry if I hurt your delicate feelings. Anyway, that's the end of the interview thanks to your reluctant cooperation. If it makes you feel any better, I'm using the same set of questions for Kid. Oh yeah, before I forget, one last question – Does the reason why you like to dissect things and pick fights with Kid have anything to do with a repressed sexual drive for the same sex or a stunted childhood relating to the Oedipus Complex?"

He could only stare at her, being forced to acknowledge the fact that he had been _so very wrong_ to think that only Luffy was capable of subjecting him to such deep-seated mortification and rendering him completely speechless.

It would truly amaze him if Kid didn't kill her.

He discovered later that she was surprisingly left very much alive after her encounter with Kid. The girl clearly had nine lives if she was able to escape death by the slip of her fiery red hair.

Still, he couldn't hold back his curiosity to ask even as he exchanged deadly blows with Kid.

"I heard you were interrogated by Nami-ya last week." He said as he dodged a straight punch from Kid.

"Ha! That happened to you too? The little bitch came up to me and had the balls to ask a shit load of questions on my killing preferences and other outrageous crap like that. Had to keep myself from putting a hole in her pretty little head, would have done it too if she weren't so fucking hot." Kid replied in a wide leer as he blocked the flash of steel from Law's sword with his metallic arm.

"You let her off that easy?" Law asked, intrigued. They swiftly separated after the ringing clash of metal, each sizing the other up warily with bloodlust in their eyes, tensed for the other to make the next move.

"The bitch asked me if my hair was dyed red and if I wore make up to compensate for my hidden sexual preferences! Fucking load of bullshit was what she said! Though, I figured she must be a wild one in the sack with that kind of ballsy attitude. She said she'd owe me one if I helped her but then she turned around and brought up the fucking money I owed her and said we were even! Should've seen that coming. Why? She got you that way too?" Kid said, sneering at Law.

"No personal questions." Law answered with a provocative smile. Shifting his hold on his nodachi, he readied himself just as Kid charged at him full on, his metallic arm glinting maniacally in the waning starlight.

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**Note:**

Sigmund Freud was a psychologist who coined the term 'Oedipus Complex', a theory on children having a desire to sexually possess their parents of the opposite sex.

Elizabeth Bathory was a historical countess from Hungary infamous for the serial killing of young girls. She's better known as the Blood Countess, due to the myth that she bathed in the blood of virgins to retain her youth.

**Question & A/N:**

Does anyone know what Nami/Luffy calls Law? Torao? Tora-o? Torao-kun/san? Need to confirm if I got it right. Thanks! Also, do tell me if the paragraphs are too clunky, and I will space them out. Was grouping them in MS Word according to subject transitioning, but I'm not sure of how this looks online...


	2. She's The Blade

**Disclaimer: **If I owned One Piece, I'd most likely ruin it with super lame and useless Devil's Fruit abilities, like the Paper-Paper Fruit whose most badass move is origami or some shit. The title comes from a song by Sugarcult (don't own that either), thought it suited Nami's violent tendencies.

**A/N:** Much thanks to all the people who kindly informed on the nicknames of Traffy, I've changed it accordingly. In this chapter, you will learn what happens when Nami starts calling him by his real name.

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Unsurprisingly, her boldness only grew with her familiarity of him and whatever trepidation he thought his sinister reputation had on her was soon shot to pieces. He might have been amused whenever she turned her wrath on Zoro but that amusement died when it became his turn to face her violent, hair trigger temper on a really bad day.

She was rarely, if not never, late for their study sessions, but that day she had burst through the door in a maelstrom of dark energy. He chose not to say anything based on the permanent look of irritation on her face.

They studied in silence for about an hour before her fury slowly dissipated into a look of resigned exhaustion. He had no reason to ask and did not care much for other people's businesses unless they had something to do with him. Whatever mild curiosity he had was not strong enough to make him open his mouth and he had no wish to start her barrage of verbal bullets. But it didn't matter as she began talking anyway after complaining of her vexation on the chapter she was reading.

"How do you get this so easily, Law?" She said in exasperation. Her usage of his actual name should have served as a first warning. Apparently, the only few times she would call him by his real name was when she was acting out of her usual behavior, which often meant she was being weirdly serious or too upset over something to be in the mood for anything else.

"Reading, analysis and memorization. Same as you, " he replied placidly.

She let out a groan of frustration. "Then why am I not getting anything?"

It was most likely due to her inward vexations, but he wasn't going to volunteer to probe her for more lest it turn on him.

He watched as she sighed deeply and slumped forwards onto the table, hitting her head in the process that was most definitely on purpose.

"At least this isn't as bad as Glaciology class." She muttered under her breath from behind her head full of hair.

He went on reading his notes, though the faint mumblings from her end reached his ears either way. He pretended not to notice, as most of it was doubted to be conscious on her part. Still, he would be lying if he said he didn't find her grumbled complaints slightly entertaining.

"Stupid lab partner, I swear he's gonna burn all my hair off one day."

"Not if I pull it off first during Crocodick's lessons."

"I should really just shave it off or dye it green like Zoro's to ward off that pervert."

The angry rustling of roughly turned pages accompanied by her grumblings turned into a sudden tearing sound. Looking up, he was greeted by the sight of her gripping a half torn page from her textbook with an inexplicably triumphant expression on her face.

"_I knew it_. I knew he was a goddamned pervert. The symptoms are all there!" She exclaimed and glared at him when she noticed his staring.

"What?" She spat out acidly, as if daring him to make a derogatory comment.

"Nothing. I was just trying to concentrate on reading." He said bluntly, ignoring her huff of irritation.

"Well, of course you're able to concentrate." She said in a tone dripping with growing sarcasm. "It's not like you have to face sexual harassment from a teacher in class or an idiot lab partner who keeps falling asleep while fiddling with the goddamned Bunsen burner that's _inches away from your hair_."

He kept silent as she continued on in her tirade. Drowning out her rant was going to be an impossible task. It did, however, serve as a morbid kind of entertainment with the things she was rambling on about.

"Sexual harassment?" He questioned blandly. "It's not Kalifa is it?"

"No! I'm the one on the receiving end of it!" She said, cradling her head in her hands as though warding off a bad memory. "It's that perverted Glaciology professor."

"Ao-"

"_Don't say his name!" _She snapped at him, cutting him off briskly.

He regarded her cautiously before speaking. "And your lab partner?"

The mentioning of that made her eyes light up with murderous intent and she sat up straight, gripping her pencil with enough force it looked about to snap in half.

"He's just _so_…_so…_ Ugh. I can't even think of anything to describe him right now. He's almost as bad as Luffy. At least the teacher hates everyone equally."

"Who's the teacher?" He asked.

"Akainu."

"I see." He said. The two of them paused in mutual silence over the thought of the towering, grim faced man in the baseball cap.

Her mood had lightened considerably towards the end of the study session. She hadn't bothered to hide how she checked her watch every fifteen minutes and her growing anticipation for the approaching Friday night.

At six o' clock sharp, she threw her arms up in the air in a leisurely stretch. "_Yes,_ Ben & Jerry's, Friday night, thank god this is all over."

When they had finished packing up, she turned to him with an inquiring look. "You heading to Robin's place?"

"I'm picking her up at eight."

"Alright then, I'll head there first, I've got something I need to collect in her fridge," she said with a gleeful smile, proceeding to hop off from her seat, wave him goodbye and leave while humming a jaunty tune.

If he had known any better, her abrupt mood swings should have been the second warning.

He had arrived half an hour early, too early in fact, judging by the slinking shadow hidden in the bushes of Robin's front porch.

"Strawhat-ya, what are you doing in there?" He asked, perplexed at the way the boy thought he was being camouflaged well with his hat sticking out like a sore thumb in the fidgeting bush.

"Traffy! How'd you know I'm here!" Luffy said in a hushed tone, popping his head out of the green shrubbery. He snapped his head around back and forth to check his surroundings before turning back to Law. "I'm hiding away from Nami, don't tell her you saw me."

"Right. I'm sure she won't find you hiding out here." He said in a deadpanned tone and was about to ring the doorbell when he saw someone with green hair striding towards them.

"Law, Luffy, what are you two doing here?" Zoro asked as he approached.

"I could ask the same of you," Law replied. "I'm here to pick Robin up."

"Wait, this is Robin's house?" Zoro said in confusion as he looked around the place.

"Zoro!" Luffy exclaimed, popping his head back out like a giant sunflower. "You got lost again?"

"Hell no! I was just…on my way to the bastard cook's house…Which way is it again?" He trailed off, looking at Law for directions.

"Two blocks down the road and turn to the side where your swords are hanging off of you." Law said.

"Thanks," Zoro replied and returned to gaze at Luffy's odd predicament. "Luffy, what are you hiding there for?"

"I'm hiding from Nami. Don't tell her I'm here." Luffy said in the same hushed tone of voice, disregarding the fact that the three of them had been standing there talking aloud for several minutes.

Law was about to reach for the door again when it was wrenched open to reveal a fuming redhead.

"Where is he! I swear I heard him just now!" Nami said through gritted teeth as she took in the sight of Law and Zoro standing peculiarly still on Robin's doorstep. "Oh hi, Zoro, Law. Did any of you see that damned Strawhat Luffy?"

To his amazement, she hadn't once looked down at the hat-sprouting bush that laid just a few paces away from the door.

"Er no, of course not," Zoro said hastily, appearing to fidget the tiniest bit. "Why are you looking for him?"

Her face clouded over in an instant. "Because, that idiot went and ate all of my _limited edition Ben & Jerry's chocolate ice cream_."

"That's it? I thought it'd be sake or something," Zoro mused out loud, oblivious to Nami's sharpening death glare.

"Well, what are you guys still standing there for? You coming in or what? Robin has leftover sake and Sanji's beef pot roast if you want some."

He was now utterly befuddled as to how the excited quiver of the bush at the word 'beef' escaped her notice.

"Uh sure." Zoro said stiffly, trying not to peer down at the bush.

"What's the matter with you two? You're acting all weird…" Nami said, looking from Zoro to Law and back again. Law kept quiet at the wooden look on Zoro's face.

After a few seconds of awkward tension, Nami turned to head back indoors and they followed suit. As the door slammed shut, he caught a sliver of a shadow slipping into the house and making a beeline straight for the kitchen.

It would truly be a miracle if Strawhat-ya managed to escape unscathed twice in a row, he thought to himself in sadistic amusement.

"Evening, Trafalgar-san, Zoro-san," Robin greeted them with a smile as she appeared in the living room. "You're early today."

"Nico-ya," He nodded in return. "The study session was ended early by Nami-ya-"

"Oh shut it, Law, its _Friday_. We always end early on Fridays." Nami said, cutting in rudely as they settled into the couches.

He raised an eyebrow at her snide remark. Evidently, she was back to her irritable mood. Robin merely giggled beside him at his expense.

"Also, I need time off to recharge. It's one of _those days_, you know?" She said to Robin and the girls exchanged a sympathetic look.

"What're you talking about?" Zoro asked.

"Nothing you need to know," Nami replied. "You can help yourself to the sake, it's in the kitchen, but touch the blueberry vodka and you'll die a slow, painful death."

"I wouldn't drink it even if you paid me to." He retorted back and headed for the kitchen.

"How bad was your day, Nami-san?" Robin inquired.

The other girl sighed and slumped into the couch. "Crocodick. Square-face. Idiot lab partner. He-who-must-not-be-named."

Strangely, Robin seemed to understand all of what she was saying.

"And just when I thought I had _chocolate ice cream_ to look forward to, _Luffy_ had to go and clean it up for me." Nami said.

"Do you have any plans for the night?" Robin asked.

Nami threw a quick glance at Law. "Well…It was supposed to be the usual night with Bepo and the rest, until Shachi and Penguin fell sick with fever, and Usopp and Chopper went off to see Franky's new invention. Now, it's only me but I'll be fine with a couple of movies and my blueberry vodka. The pain's been killing me this morning and-" She broke off and went back to tossing him a weird glance and trying to hint to Robin something without much subtlety.

Robin chuckled and turned to him with an apologetic smile. "If you'll just give us a few minutes together, Trafalgar-san?"

He nodded, having no desire to listen in on what was most likely 'girl talk', which was what Nami had said once the last time he had walked in on her and Robin lounging around in the house.

He excused himself to the kitchen and was not surprised in the least to find Luffy tearing into the pot roast like his life depended on it, while chugging down a rapidly emptying bottle of blue beverage in between bites.

He looked towards Zoro who shrugged from where he was seated nonchalantly at the kitchen table with a bottle of sake. "Tried to stop him. Didn't work."

Clearly, Strawhat-ya had a death wish if he was pushing his luck that far.

"Where's Nami and Robin?" Zoro asked as he took a swig of his sake.

"Girl talk."

"Ah. I see."

They exchanged small talk and sword fighting discussions in between silences filled in by the sound of Luffy's loud munching and slurping.

"Ah! That was so good!" Luffy proclaimed, patting his now rotund belly in satisfaction. "Especially the blue stuff, tasted kinda like blueberry pie, except it's all fizzy and kinda woozy."

"Nami will kill you when she finds out." Zoro remarked.

"Oh shit! I better leave now, don't tell her I drank all her juice and ate her ice cream!" Luffy said, panicking a bit as he scrambled to get up.

"I'm sure she won't-" Zoro began to say but was cut off by an explosive shriek of fury.

"YOU! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY VODKA!" Nami screamed at Luffy as he jumped over the table and made for the window.

"FIRST MY ICE CREAM AND NOW MY VODKA! MONKEY D FOR DAMNED LUFFY YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

What resulted next was a chaotic mess as she chased after him when she failed to tackle him to the floor, toppling over the table in the process and spilling Zoro's sake all over him.

"Watch it! You almost made me drench my swords!"

"TO HELL WITH YOUR DAMNED SWORDS – SHIT- SOMEBODY GRAB THAT IDIOT!"

"Help me Zoro!" Luffy yelled as he and Nami ran circles around the overturned table. The chairs were strewn all over the kitchen in their frenzied cat and mouse game.

"What the hell am I supposed to do!" Zoro yelled back, standing a few feet away from the whirlpool of madness.

"What is going on here?" Robin asked as she peered into the kitchen and her eyes widened in shock at the mess.

"I'M SORRY ROBIN BUT I MUST CATCH THIS LITTLE SHIT FIRST– UGH!" Nami shrieked as Luffy did a cartwheel over her head and landed squarely in front of Law.

What happened next was too fast for him to fathom.

Nami scrambled to her feet and rushed towards Luffy but he was too quick and had hidden himself behind Law in a red and black flash.

"DAMN IT GRAB HIM LAW!"

"Don't let her get me Traffy!"

He stood dumbstruck in shock as they began running circles. Once. Twice. Thrice. With _him_ as the center of their deranged merry-go-round.

"STOP. RUNNING. YOU. ARGH!"

"Zoro! Save me!"

"THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!"

"YOU. ATE. MY. LIMITED. EDITION. _CHOCOLATE_. ICE. CREAM."

"I didn't know it was yours! The blueberry tasted better anyway!"

"THERE WAS MY _NAME_ WRITTEN ON IT! AND ON MY _DAMNED VODKA _TOO!"

"Zoro and Traff-guy didn't say anything about that so-"

"SHIT! DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS! I TOLD YOU THE WITCH WAS GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOU TOUCHED HER STUFF!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF BELLEMERE – I'LL DEAL WITH YOUR MOSSY SHITHEAD LATER ZORO!"

"WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!"

"Save me! Torao!"

"TRAFALGAR LAW, GRAB THAT LITTLE SHIT!"

"Don't listen to her, Traffy!"

The spinning vortex of orange, black and red was giving him a pounding headache. He could vaguely hear Robin's stifled chuckles from outside the kitchen entrance and Zoro's angry arguing over the blasted screaming.

Just when he thought he couldn't take any more of this gallivanting train wreck, Luffy skidded to a stop in front of him and went on to _climb _over him in a last, desperate bid to escape from Nami's clutches.

He landed on the other side out of the kitchen with a solid thump just as Nami crashed into Law, sending them both toppling over in a tangled heap and knocking his hat off onto the dusty kitchen floor.

"Thanks Traffy!" Luffy shouted over his shoulder as he zipped across the living room space in the blink of a millisecond and was out the door in an resonating slam before Law could even think of responding.

Nami immediately leapt off him and the silence was at odds with her rapidly darkening face.

"Stop right there. Zoro." She said in a deadly quiet voice. "Don't you _dare _think you can sneak out of here."

Zoro stopped his slow movements towards the kitchen entrance to face her with a scowl.

"I didn't do any shit! He was the one who ate your food!"

She advanced towards him at a dangerously slow pace and he warily backpedaled a few steps.

"You didn't stop him from drinking my vodka. You helped that idiot escape-" She said, seething with silent fury as she rapidly closed in on him.

"The hell? I didn't help him with anything! You were the one who failed to catch him!" Zoro snapped back at her defensively.

"You let him escape!"

"You need to get your eyes checked, witch!"

"You need to get your brains checked, you idiot!"

"The hell are you calling me stupid, you stingy-OW!"

On another day, the sight of the swordsman yelping in pain from Nami's hard right hook to the head would have been amusing if not for the fact that he had gotten embroiled into their childish fight.

He was dusting off his clothes and had just replaced his hat back on his head when he felt her laser glare turn on him next.

"And what are you smirking at, Law?" She said in the same deceptively quiet tone.

Behind her, Zoro was frantically trying to gesture something at him.

Law looked down at his now dusty coat in distaste and back at Nami's heated glower.

"You would've been better off without eating the ice cream or vodka anyway." He said wryly.

"And why is that so?" She asked, gradually advancing on him.

"Eating cold food and alcohol will only increase the discomfort during the menstruation period. You might want to lay off the chocolate too unless you want an outbreak." He said crudely, watching in twisted amusement at her reddening face.

He vaguely discerned Zoro slapping his hand over his face, but that thought was quickly taken over by a resounding whack to his head. He found himself falling back and clutching at his suddenly throbbing head in mortified disbelief.

She had hit him. The wench had dared to slug him with all her might behind her left hook.

If he had thought getting into a rough fight with Kid had hurt only the slightest bit, it was nothing compared to this. The sharp pain lacing through his skull was nowhere as bad as a life-threatening stab wound, but he could feel it slashing away mercilessly at the remains of his dignity.

It hadn't even been that big of an issue to begin with. He wasn't even threatened by her in the slightest. What made it truly horrifying was the way both Zoro and Robin couldn't help but laugh at his embarrassment.

He stood back up after recovering from his shock, and glared daggers at her but she merely glared back at him with added fire in her eyes and a threatening right fist.

The expression on her face was a serene smile that did nothing to hide the sharpened blade behind it. "You were saying, Law?"

His mind raced for a retort even as he continued his mutual stare down with her, but most of him was too held back in mortification and disbelief to even utter a suitable comeback. He could still hear the raining bullets of Zoro's and Robin's laughter on his wounded pride.

He finally conceded and shot a glare at Zoro, who was doubled over laughing in wild abandon.

Even as he and Robin left the house at eight and were later seated in the cinema, the faint throbbing pain at the back of his head never failed to taunt and irk him throughout the show.

The worst part of it all was that, knowing Luffy's friends, they would never let him live it down.

Nonetheless, he couldn't help the ironic, half smile that emerged from that thought.

_Touché, Miss Nami._

* * *

**End Note:  
**

Moral of the story is: Don't piss off Nami on a bad day, and despite Law's reasonable advice, no amount of pain can get between a girl and chocolate (or in my weird personal preference, vinegar) on one of _those days._

Kudos to those who manage to guess the people of Nami's hatred based on their given nicknames. And yes, that is a Harry Potter reference you saw, don't own that either.

It's hilariously ironic really, I was out the other day and I had to stifle my smile at this lady in a flamingo print dress. The funniest thing is that I have this classmate who kinda reminds me of Law and even looks the teensiest bit like him (both tattooed and dark with the cool/laidback attitude and all except this guy's a much skinnier, shorter dude), and then there's this other girl in my class who dyed her hair red and there's something going on between them but it didn't amount to much. I almost spat out my drink when I first realized the weird irony.


	3. Side Story: Nami's Really Bad Day

**Disclaimer: **I own One Piece as much as my brother owns a six pack. I'll leave the implied meaning to the rest of your imagination.

**A/N: **Because it came to me that what happened in the previous chapter might be confusing for some readers, I've decided to follow up with a side story on what really happened to Nami that day. Also, sorry for the large usage of italics here, I felt that there were many points that just had to be _emphasized_ on.

* * *

Friday morning, Nami found herself waking up to a hellhole of pain and the nonexistent ringing of her dreaded alarm clock. Groaning, she turned over in her bed full of messily strewn blankets and sat up groggily, wincing as she did so when she felt the sharp stabbing pain in her lower abdomen grow tenfold.

Oh god, it couldn't be that time of the month again, she thought as she crawled out of bed, trying to ignore the soreness in her limbs and lower back. A flip of her blankets confirmed her horrified suspicions and she cursed inwardly at the dark stain on the sheets. Frowning in disgust, she had just stripped the blankets off her bed when something else caught her eye and made her blood halt in dead stillness in her veins.

The clock hands read nine thirty. She had a class at nine sharp that day.

"Shit," she muttered, cursing out loud this time. She was almost always early for all her classes except on _those days_, and she hated being late for any occasion no matter the reason.

She had just tossed her blankets into the laundry basket in a hurry when another more heinous thought occurred to her. Today was Friday morning. And Friday mornings meant-

"Oh my-_shit. Shitshitshit!" _She yelped, eyes bugging out at the clock's taunting hands in cold fear. If she wasn't fully awake then she was now.

Not wasting a moment further, she launched into her morning routine in turbo mode, scrambling around madly for her clothes and stuffing everything into a random bag at a speed that rivaled Luffy going through a buffet table.

She opted to skip breakfast and left the house in a slam of the doors, racing towards her bike and all the while praying with all her might that her death would be a fast one. Knowing the sadistic bastard, it would be anything but that.

"Come on-come on-_come on!" _She groaned, trying to quell the urge to kick at her bike when it failed to start up no matter how hard she tried to ignite the engine. Of all the days her bike could have chosen to break down, it had to be this one.

"_God_. Why does this have to happen to me now." Feeling frustrated beyond relief, she knelt down to inspect her bike and halted when her eyes landed on what looked to be _bits of smashed up eggshells and fried egg coming out of her smoking exhaust pipe_.

"_What _the hell_-" _She stood stock-still in shock, staring at the sadly coughing pipe and recalling a certain, unwelcome memory from two days back.

_'Hey Sanji! Is it true that you can cook an egg on a motorbike?'_

_'What kind of idiot question is that! Well, I suppose you could given how hot the exhaust pipe is if you leave it on running…'_

_'Cool! Thanks for telling me!'_

"That. Little. _Shit_." She bit out through clenched teeth, her body shaking in seething rage at the _one person who had decided to use her bike as a cooking experiment_ and had _probably stuffed entire eggs down the running exhaust pipe_ instead of _placing it in a pan on top of it like any regular person with half a brain would._

If she managed to get her hands on him, Monkey D. Luffy was a dead man walking.

Fighting down the surging waves of panic, Nami ran for her life, making a mental note to call Franky later about repairing her bike if she somehow managed to survive her foreboding ordeal.

At nine forty-five later, she found herself standing outside the lecture room with a pounding heart that wasn't entirely due to the desperate running.

Just try to sneak in as silently as possible_, _she thought to herself in a repeated mantra as she pushed open the door softly, all the while cursing for the lack of a back door in this particular classroom.

Her hopes were dashed to silently trembling shreds when she found herself standing in the cold air of the dangerously still room, right in front of Sir Crocodile who had paused mid-speech to gaze upon her in suffocating distaste.

"As I was saying, before I was _rudely interrupted by someone who didn't care that she had come in nearly a full hour late_…Communicating the right message across to your client is of utmost importance. Always ensure that they get the message _on time, _and if they don't, _further forceful measures are always acceptable to make sure they do._"

She couldn't help but swallow back the feeling of something lodged at the back of her throat. "Sorry, my alarm didn't ring today and my bike wasn't working so…" Her words died down with the growing look of disdain on Crocodile's face.

"Those are worthless explanations, not excuses I want to hear of coming from someone like you who clearly can't even manage to scrape by without a useless alarm clock." He said, looking down at her as if she were nothing but dirt beneath his polished leather shoes. "Sit down before you disrupt my lesson further with your worthless being."

Face aflame in embarrassment and a simmering rage, Nami made her way to the middle of the seats beside Usopp, who shot her a sympathetic glance.

At the front of the classroom, Crocodile carried on in his lecture. "Having a network of connections and the right people to disseminate your message is also an important step towards the building of your company's communication empire. _Timeliness _is invaluable when it comes to ensuring you strike out at the right moment. Always have a backup plan for you will _face the consequences if the first one doesn't turn up well._ Public image is another key aspect to be mindful of, as you will want to rule over your clients in full confidence. One example is not to turn up at an important event with _hair uncombed_ and _mismatched socks._"

If her face had been red before, it was positively smoking scarlet by then. The tittering laughter of her fellow classmates made her want to curl up under the desk and die of humiliation. Beside her, Usopp was silently trying to give her morale support but couldn't do so without incurring the wrath of Crocodile.

The rest of his Communications lesson went on with her bearing the brunt of his ire and with each degrading word, she found herself sinking lower and lower in her seat.

Thankfully, he stopped his onslaught of verbal abuse when the time came for tutorial work and questioning.

She had barely let out a sigh of relief when the sweeping shadow of Crocodile fell upon her desk. Usopp's blanched face and squeak of fear did nothing to make her feel any better and she slowly looked up towards the menacing puff of smoke from Crocodile's cigar and the sharp glint of light on his hooked arm.

"Based on what I have said earlier, I am sure we are all _dying_ to know what you have to say in regards to the _timely_ and proper management of information during a _crisis_ scenario."

"Crisis? But we haven't gone through that yet-" Nami said, a mixture of confusion and trepidation washing over her like quicksand.

"That's because you were absent during the first half of my lesson." He continued on, ignoring her weak interjections completely.

"I'm sorry, but I'm usually early most of-"

"Worthless explanations, not excuses." He said, mercilessly cutting off her feeble attempts at explaining herself. "I expect a thousand word essay on the importance of _timely _information dissemination on my desk on Monday morning. Nine o'clock sharp. Any later and it shall increase by another thousand words on Tuesday morning and so forth." Finishing, he left in a swirl of his long black cloak, leaving her behind to silently curse at his back in a feeling of drowning despair.

_Damned Crocodick bastard._

She had left the classroom in a hurry for the girl's washroom after that, only pausing to wave Usopp goodbye and not bothering to seek out Luffy's damned ass. She didn't even have the time to greet any of her other friends who had been sitting in the back of the class for the pain in her abdomen was killing her faster with each passing minute.

The thought of what her next class entailed was not one she wanted to entertain at all and she reluctantly exited the washroom after fixing her hair and pulling down her socks, practically dragging herself onwards with the hope that her lab partner was absent that day.

No such luck awaited her when she entered the open lab door and her eyes unwittingly snapped to the subject of her apprehension lounging around at their table.

True to what he usually did during their Volcanology lessons, Portgas D. Ace sat fiddling with the Bunsen burner like the closet pyromaniac he was.

"Morning, Nami." He greeted her with a nod of his head, staring a bit with one quirked eyebrow when she didn't reply him and merely nodded back dully.

"Rough night?" He asked, gesturing to her pale countenance.

"I wish it were only that." She said sullenly, climbing onto her chair with a pained wince.

"I take it you had a bad morning then?" He questioned when she gave no further elaboration.

"Like you have no idea." She replied with a heavy sigh. A sudden memory reoccurred to her and she snapped her head around to face him with an annoyed huff.

"Your idiot brother decided it was a grand idea to cook eggs in my motorbike." She said reproachfully.

He raised both eyebrows at her comment but didn't appear any further surprised at Luffy's antics.

"Isn't that possible though?" He asked, unperturbed by her glare at his question.

"_Yes_, but not if you _stuff entire eggs up the exhaust pipe_ and _leave it running till the engine dies out completely with broken eggshells and fried egg bits stuck inside."_

Now he had the decency to look mildly astonished.

"That sounds more like my foolish little brother. Were you late for your lesson then?"

She had to fight back a groan at the undesirable memory of her first morning lesson. "Crocodick publicly humiliated me and gave me a thousand word essay on the_ importance of timeliness_."

She flashed a glare at him when he snorted at that. "That's harsh, but it sounds like something he would do. Did he threaten to increase the word limit by a thousand for every day you miss out past the due date?"

"Yes," she said and peered at him in curiosity over his statement. "Did he give you the same punishment last time?"

He nodded, crinkling his brows slightly as if recalling a bad memory. "Twelve thousand word essay."

"_What!"_ She stared at him with wide eyes, stunned in disbelief and morbid fascination. "What did you do to piss him off like that?"

"He gave me a thousand for each time I fell asleep in his class. He threatened to add more if I didn't hand it in on time. Of course, I dropped the class so I didn't have to deal with that shit. Marco would have killed me if I asked him for help." He remarked nonchalantly, seemingly not bothered by the past incident.

She continued to gape at him in amazement for a few seconds, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief that at least her situation had been nowhere as bad as his.

He suddenly turned to her with an inquisitive look. "So, what are you going to do about my little brother?"

Leaning forwards with a worn-out huff, Nami folded her arms on the table in contemplation over Luffy's ill-timed experiment.

"I'll have to charge him of course. One thousand bucks for every egg he sticks in my exhaust pipe." She declared in a satisfied tone.

To her right, Ace shot her an exasperated yet half-amused look. "That makes you as bad as Crocodick."

"Well, he did manage to make you drop his class." She countered back with a slight smirk.

Before he could reply her, the lab door slammed shut following the arrival of the intimidating bulk of Akainu. The entire room grew quiet within seconds.

"We shall now begin the lesson. Turn to chapter eight on Magmatism." He said, beginning the lengthy and dull two-hour lecture.

One and a half hours into the lesson later, Nami found herself almost crying in joy that no sign of a laboratory practice had been scheduled.

If he had noticed the strange lightening of her mood, Ace said nothing but continued clicking his pen in boredom while he pored over his textbook the same way he did so with his lighter on other occasions.

The gleeful moment in her change of mood was short-lived, however, when the incessant clicking of his pen started to get on her nerves as she tried to concentrate on her tutorial worksheet to no avail.

"Will you please stop that?" She asked him in hushed annoyance.

"Stop what?" He asked back, continuing with his damned pen clicking.

She waved an arm at the pen in his hand. "_That_. That thing you're doing with your pen, I'm trying to focus here."

He appeared unconcerned of her request. "This thing?" He asked, clicking the pen again louder.

"_Yes, that thing._ Now, would you _please_ go play with your Bunsen burner or whatever and leave the pen alone?" She pleaded, growing more unnerved with each clicking of his pen.

To her relief, he shrugged and complied, reaching for the Bunsen burner instead.

Pleased with the way things were looking up, Nami relaxed for the first time that day and began to work on completing her worksheet as fast as possible so she could get a head start on Crocodick's damned essay.

Finishing with the tutorial, she laid out Crocodile's textbook and the rest of her Communications notes, shifting in her seat a bit to make the most of her limited table space.

She was only two hundred words into the essay when a weird, burning scent reached her nose.

Frowning, she turned to Ace, ready to ask him what the hell he was trying to burn. The burning smell was growing stronger. In fact, it was beginning to smell a lot like-

"MY FUCKING GODDAMNED HAIR!" She shrieked. Leaping up, she toppled over ungracefully from her seat in her manic rush to get her singed orange locks away from the Bunsen burner.

She had finished inspecting the ends of her hair and had just heaved a sigh upon realizing the damage was only to a tiny, fixable portion, when it dawned on her that the silence in the room was significantly tenser than usual.

This day could not get any worse, she thought in misery as she looked up at the gawking faces of her fellow classmates, her half-awake looking idiot lab partner, and most of all, the displeased stare on Akainu's face.

"I'm sorry! My hair was burning and I-I-" Her hurried explanation rapidly died down to a whimper when the expression Akainu gave her made her realize outright how lame it all sounded.

"The punishment for the disruption of an ongoing lesson is three warnings, followed by whatever the teacher in charge deems fit to impose on the student. This is your fourth count. Given your grades, it would be unfitting to ask you to leave this class, and since the time for today's lesson is almost up, it would defeat the purpose to send you out." He said impassively and reached for the class register to pick out her name.

"Nami," he stated calmly. Never had her name made her wish for the earth to swallow her up in a gulp of molten lava right then. "You are to stay back after class to clean up the entire lab and carry the worksheets to the staff room."

"Yes sir." She uttered dejectedly, settling back down in her seat in defeat.

She couldn't even muster up the strength to glower at Ace when he waved her goodbye and left with everyone else, leaving her alone in the empty classroom full of cluttered appliances and a tall stack of papers.

_Idiot lab partner. Inflexible Square-face._

Of course, once she had finally finished with the punishments Akainu had dealt out on her, she had missed out on lunch with her friends altogether. She wouldn't have minded having to lunch alone much, if not for the wrong order the server had given her, resulting in a plateful of Mexican fried rice that was _way_ spicier than her usual meal.

To make matters worse, the combination of the heat along with the gulps of ice-cold water she had frantically downed caused her stomach cramps to twist in even greater throes of agony.

She was in the middle of checking out her last lesson of the day when her phone rang.

"Hello Bepo," she answered, grateful for the bear's phone call. They had bonded over Navigation and Cartography classes over the past semesters and had grown to become good friends ever since Luffy had started dragging Law all over the place along with his fellow mates.

"Hi Nami, I'm sorry but I have to call you to tell you that Shachi and Penguin are sick with fever. I'm really sorry but Friday night is cancelled today," came the bear's apologetic voice over the phone.

"It's alright Bepo. Are Shachi and Penguin doing ok?" Nami replied in an assuring tone.

"Yeah, they're doing fine. Law told them to get some rest at home and ordered them not to move around. I'm really sorry about this, Nami."

"It's no big deal Bepo, really, there's always next Friday. I hope they're recovering fine, anyway, I'll see you in our next class on Tuesday."

"Thanks Nami, I'll see you in class next week. Sorry, bye!"

She couldn't help the heavy, disappointed sigh after she had hung up her phone. Comforting herself with the notion that at least the horrible day was ending, she looked down at her timetable, noting that her Glaciology elective was next. It was also the first lesson of the classes and she began to make her way there immediately, not wanting to be late a second time in case her teacher was as sadistic as Crocodick.

The reminder of her Ben & Jerry's limited edition chocolate ice cream and blueberry vodka she had specially bought last week in preparation for _those days _made her feel slightly better, stomach cramps be damned.

She soon discovered she had no need to be worried about being late at all. Nearly half an hour into the class, every student had already long since been seated, yet there was no sign of the teacher whatsoever.

A quick scan across the room revealed zero familiar faces. Many of the students were either caught up in their own conversations or openly complaining about the tardiness of the lecturer. She was in no mood to socialize and decided to continue with her unfinished essay.

Just as she was halfway through writing, the doors opened with a loud slam and a tall man with curly black hair and dressed casually in a white shirt, navy pants and long cargo coat walked in.

The class quieted down at the unexpected entrance of what looked to be the lecturer, watching as he pulled out the chair at the front desk and sat down calmly as if he hadn't been half an hour late at all.

After a few moments of hushed silence, he began to speak. "My bicycle was caught in the traffic so, sorry for the wait."

"As you all know, this is Glaciology class. Regardless if this is your core module or elective, the class rules will similarly apply as well. Some of you I recall seeing in my previous modules. As per usual, I will answer to Professor, sir, or Aokiji, whatever you wish to call me-"

He suddenly stopped mid-sentence, causing the entire class to gaze in puzzlement towards the direction he was staring at, which was uncomfortably converged upon _her_.

She snapped her head back to see what he was looking at, and when she saw nothing but more faces staring down at her, an uneasy feeling sent a chill down her spine.

"Except for the hot babe with the big boobs in the middle seats. You may call me Kuzan."

She blinked, and she was sure so did the others in the room, thinking she must have heard wrongly as the Glaciology professor most definitely had not just-

"Say, are you free for dinner later at seven?"

Oh. Kay. Now this was just getting weird, she thought, blinking again and hoping with all the life left inside her that her eardrums had somehow been damaged by the extremely spicy heat of the-

"Cool, I'll take that as a yes then." He said, and proceeded to begin his lecture as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened and he _had not just hit on a student and asked her out on a date._

"WHAT - NO!" The yell erupted from her throat before she could stop it.

The attention was back on her rapidly reddening face again. She could feel her temperature rising with the last reserves of her nerves cracking slowly under pressure.

"If you're worried about the whole issue of a teacher-student relationship, it's fine once I talk to Sengoku-"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" She shrieked back, completely flummoxed now.

"I'm not married or engaged, if that's what you-"

"NO! _God. No_." She squawked, desperately trying to get her bearings and ignore the sniggers and stares pointed all over her heated skin. "I-I'm sorry but I have to reject your offer."

He even had the gall to look slightly confused. "Why not? It's only dinner-"

"I am not, in any way comfortable or okay with that-" She said, feeling a headache coming on along with the growing pain in her abdomen.

"A movie then?"

"No, I-"

"Or are you the type to skip ahead to-"

"_Hell. Fucking. No." _She snapped at him in cold seething fury. To hell with the fact that he was a teacher and she was going to get creamed for speaking to him that way.

Breathing in deeply, she quickly continued before he could cut in again with another outrageously humiliating request. "I am _really sorry_. But I cannot and will not go on _any_ sort of date with you. This has _nothing_ to do with the fact that you are a teacher and more of _my own personal reason_ that I hope you will respect, given the school rules and how big the headmaster is on _mutually respecting relationships_ between students and fellow teachers. That is all part of the school's _ethical code of conduct_ that we all abide to, am I right?"

She wanted to bury herself alive six feet under the ground for sounding like Square-face so much, but desperate moves called for desperate measures, and no way not even if hell freezes over would she go out with a random teacher for God's sake.

The next few moments trickled by in frigid silence. She was about to give up and volunteer to head to the dean's office to accept an order of suspension, or worse, expulsion, when he merely shrugged and said, "Okay then."

He then carried on as if nothing had transpired between them and she was not sitting in liberated discomfort and stupefied shock at the whole episode.

However, she realized she had counted her blessings too soon when the lecture progressed without any further propositioning, but with a whole load of horrendously humiliating remarks throughout.

"-the opposite of subzero temperatures would be the hot redhead with the fiery temper to match-"

"-the sizes of glaciers can range from moderate to large, for example, the babe in the middle seats would be on the end of that spectrum-"

"-climate change can also cause unprecedented reactions to ice sheets, similar to walking into class to find a smoking hot babe with big boobs-"

She could literally feel her cells shrivel up in icy mortification with every line he delivered that related to her horrified being. If she had thought Crocodile's and Akainu's lessons were bad, they were nowhere near the inhuman levels of torture she felt sitting frozen solid in bottomless humiliation in this pervert's lecture.

Right when she couldn't take it anymore and was about to cut him off with a snide remark, he mercifully ended his lecture and moved on with the tutorial and discussion session.

Her alleviated suffering only lasted for a fleeting moment, when he came up to her table to a crowd of snickering and to her absolute dismay.

"I didn't catch your name back there-" He began to say but she interrupted in a snarl of anger.

"I'm sorry _Professor_, but I'm afraid school ethics doesn't particularly encourage an excess of informalities between teachers and their students," she bit out in seething rage. "Also, I would _greatly appreciate_ it if you refrain from using _me_ as an example in your lectures. I am certain that given _your_ _level of_ _professionalism_, you're able to find _far better_ real world examples relating to the class."

He appeared unfazed by her angry remarks. "If you say so, then," he said with an impassive shrug. "And it's Kuzan, if you're-"

"Thank you for your kind understanding. _Sir_." She continued on, trying to squash down her mounting irritation.

"You can call me Aokiji, I really don't mind-"

"Point taken, _sir-_"

"It's Aokiji-"

"I am aware of that, _Professor_-"

"Aokiji-"

"_Yes_, the course profile clearly indicates that as your name as the _Glaciology professor_-"

"I'd prefer it if you call me Ao-"

"_Do. You. Need. Anything. Professor Aokiji?" _She ground out venomously, her patience wearing thinner and sharper than a frosting of ice shards. If she heard his blasted name repeated _one more time_ she swore her major arteries would explode with geyser-like force.

He was either blind to her raging fury or completely dismissive of it, for the next words that popped out of his mouth had her forcefully holding herself back from throttling the damned perverted bastard to death.

"Could I by any chance get your number?" He asked.

_That. Was. It._ She thought furiously, glaring up at him with all the rage she could muster.

"Not a single _goddamned_ chance." Not even if hell freezes over would she even begin to entertain that repulsive thought.

Unlike what she hoped, her outright rejection drew zero negative reaction from him. "I'll give you mine then-"

Fortunately, the loud buzzing of a nearby student's watch overlapped the shattering of the last remnants of her tolerance, indicating the end of the class.

"I am _so sorry_ I didn't get to catch your number, but the _time is up_ and I _really have got to rush off now. _I've got a study session after this and I wouldn't want to keep anybody waiting with my _lateness_."

She was out the door and running before he could conjure up a reply or another humiliating pick up attempt.

_Goddamned perverted bastard who must never again be named in her presence._

The pain in her abdomen was now absolutely _nothing_ compared to the insurmountable outrage she felt right then. In no mood to head directly to the study rooms, Nami stomped into one of the girl's washrooms far away from the Glaciology class, where she locked herself into a stall and went on to shriek in silent fury for all she was worth.

Remembering something, she took out her phone and sent Robin a quick text.

**Hi Robin,**

**I left my chocolate ice cream and blueberry vodka at your place last week, mind if I swing by later to grab it? Today is one of _those days _where I need it real bad.**

**- Nami**

As if sensing her distress, the reply from her friend was just as fast.

**Hi Nami-san,**

**You know you're always welcome at my place, I'll be at home after six. Is everything alright? How was your first day of Glaciology class?**

**- Robin**

A slight smile graced Nami's face for the first time that day, as she felt ever so grateful for a friend such as Robin.

**Thanks so much, Robin, you're the best. Let's just say that the Glaciology professor's name is something I never hope to hear ever again in my presence. I'll tell you everything later, see you after six. **

**XXX**

**- Nami**

Unfortunately, the slight uplifting of her mood was quickly drenched cold at the memory of he-who-must-not-be-named. Placing away her phone, Nami leaned back against the washroom stall, fighting an uphill battle against the turmoil of emotions brewing inside her.

After her anger had ebbed away the faintest bit, she exited the washroom in a dark cloud of wretchedness and began dragging herself towards the study rooms, all the while repeating the mantra in her head that in the very least she had her _limited edition Ben & Jerry's chocolate ice cream and blueberry vodka_ to look forward to drowning her sorrows in later.

* * *

**End Note:**

Yeah, so now you know how bad it was. She was too angry over the loss of her ice cream and vodka she forgot completely about the eggs. For now. If any of you are wondering about the timing of events, Nami went to get her bike fixed by Franky first (during which Luffy is already at Robin's and has eaten all her ice cream when Robin was busy preparing for the night out), Nami arrives later and gets pissed as hell at Luffy but he runs away and hides outside the house while she's still hunting his ass down inside, Law and Zoro turn up and then...there you go.

Also, as for the currency, I'm equating the Beli currency to the Japanese _Yen_, in case any of you are flabbergasted at Nami's egg price.

Geez, Ace was damned hard to write. The part with Crocodile as the Mass Communications teacher actually came from this dream I had, where he was my teacher walking around chewing on his cigar, waving his hooked arm about and spraying sand all over the place...I think it fits in nicely with his casino business public image and underworld networked scheming in the Alabasta Arc. ;)


	4. Side Story: D is for Dangerous

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but a sprained ankle. The song D is for Dangerous is by the Arctic Monkeys, I think it fits nicely with Luffy's misdeeds.

**A/N:** To make up for the long dry spell of zero uploads, here's a disgustingly long 15k+ word chapter. It kinda got out of hand and started writing itself with mini subplots and I'm only too happy that happened. It's also a side story but hey, don't whack it till you've tried it, I did stay up all night writing this.

I also want to thank you guest reviewers, I can't reply back personally but I'd like to say that I'm glad you find this funny. :) Have fun reading!

* * *

**Water Seven Building - Engineering Department, Classroom 3A**

"So, what do we name our operation?"

Four heads turned to glare at the one person currently digging merrily away at his nose who had landed them all in this dilemma in the first place.

"Idiot," Sanji scolded from where he stood leaning against the table next to Franky's communication device. "Is that all you can think about when Nami's out there risking her life for you?"

Zoro looked over at Luffy curiously. "Why do you want to name it anyway?"

"Because they always do that in the movies. It's cool, we should name ours too!" Luffy said with stars flashing in his eyes. "I want it to start with the letter D! That way, it's got my name in it, and Ace's and my gramps' and dad's too!"

"Even if they have nothing to with do this mess and you are the sole reason for it?" Law said impassively. If he had a choice he would be anywhere but here and come to think of it, he had no idea how he had gotten roped into the entire fiasco. Regardless, they had all ended up in one of Franky's engineering classrooms crowded around his sleek machinery, which emitted bursts of static from its speakers every now and then along with a twenty-two inch screen that remained blank for the time being.

Franky looked up at Luffy from where he was seated before the machine connecting the wires and microphone cord. "A name, eh? What do you suggest the D stands for?"

Luffy immediately fired up with even more enthusiasm. "I'll go first! D is for…"

* * *

**Marineford Central Residences – Second Floor Hallway**

Standing outside the professor dorm rooms dressed from head to toe in black was _not_ anywhere Nami wanted to be at any point in her life.

She adjusted the hidden wireless camera on her turtleneck sweater and put on the portable micro headset, all the while raging internally at a certain straw hat touting idiot. Plugging in the earphones, she switched on the power button on her equipment and was rewarded with an earsplitting screech of static.

"-D is for Donuts!"

"Danger."

"Death."

"Double D's!"

_What the hell? _She found herself frowning at the jumble of nonsensical words. The last one had definitely sounded like Sanji's overly excited tone. Confused on top of irritated, she cleared her throat and spoke into the receiver.

"Ok, I'm ready, would you guys mind letting me in on what's going on over there?"

Franky's voice answered on the other end. "Oh hey, Nami, we're currently commencing Operation Super-"

"But Franky, it has to start with D! How about Duck? Dumplings? Duck Dumplings? That one's Double D too!"

There was no fooling anyone who this idiot was, Nami thought, grinding her teeth at the voice belonging to the source of her current predicament.

"That's different you idiot - Hi! Nami-swan!" Sanji's overjoyed tone edged Luffy's out of the way. "I hope you're doing alright, it's only a pity I couldn't be the one to go in your place."

"It's alright, Sanji, we all get our turns doing the dirty work and cleaning up after that idiot." She said evenly.

"If it's any condolence, I'll help you kick his sorry ass later."

"That won't be necessary but thanks for your offer, I think I'll be doing the kicking this time round."

"I'll be happy to help if you require – sorry, hold on a minute," Sanji said, breaking off halfway in the midst of the noisy background ruckus to yell at someone. "What the hell are you still rambling about! I can't hear Nami on the other end!"

"We can't decide on a name for our operation!" Luffy shouted back.

"I told you I don't care what you call it." A familiar voice retorted in an irritated undertone.

"Law?" Nami asked in surprise. "What are you doing there?"

She could have sworn she heard an audible sigh as he replied. "I would like to know that myself if I could. Strawhat-ya pulled me into the room before-"

"Nami!" Luffy said, butting in without warning like he always did. "Help me decide on a name! Traff-guy keeps insisting on Death-"

"I told you I don't care-"

"That's no help either! Anyway, Zoro wants Danger, Destruction, Dicing-"

"I never said I wanted those-"

"And so far we have Drumsticks, Ducks, Donuts, Dumplings, and also Super, which technically doesn't begin with a D so it's out, sorry Franky! Which do you think we should go with?"

She listened in silence at everything he said and quelled her irritation to a simmering low heat. "How about D for Doomed? That's what this whole thing is after all. Or better yet, D for Damned, 'cause that's what my life is whenever you come looking for me to bail you out of trouble and what you will be later once I'm done with this."

"Cool! Thanks for your suggestions, Nami!" Luffy said. _God help him with his selective hearing._

"-Quit shoving me, stupid Curly-brow!"

"Shut up you idiot Marimo, I can't hear Nami-swan with your fat head in the way."

"Say that again, I dare you."

Luffy cut in quickly before Zoro and Sanji could fight it out like rabid dogs. "Does anyone have any other suggestions?"

"D for Dumb Blond."

"D for Dumbass."

"Dickhead."

"Dickweed-"

"Super Duper? It has a D in it," Franky suggested.

"Hm, I think we should go with D for Duck, but I have a feeling for Beef-"

That was the last straw. She couldn't take it anymore. "_Shut up. _Everyone just shut the hell up and let's get on with Operation D for whatever the hell this is_."_

"Oh that's alright too, that's D for everything! Operation D it is!" Luffy said, sounding pleased with the decision.

She had an insane urge to throttle her receiver and earphones all of a sudden. Steeling her nerves, she unfolded a list of room numbers Luffy had passed to her earlier on. "One final check guys, from what you've noted down so far, all the professors are having classes until late evening right?"

"From what we know, yeah, they shouldn't be back until then, you've got three hours tops, Nami," came Franky's reassuring reply.

"Good. I think I'll be done in about two." She said calmly, getting ready to put her trusty old lock picking gadgets to good use. Truth be told, she had never thought there would come a time for her to use them to break into the professors' dormitories, but there was always a first time for everything.

All for the sake of one Monkey D. Luffy.

* * *

**Earlier on, one hour, fifty-six minutes before Operation D, outside East Wing Cafeteria**

"Damn it, and I really wanted to go with Fullbody to that hippie music festival too," Jango cursed under his breath as he paced outside the cafeteria doors with a package of Alumni magazines. "Blast this, maybe they won't know if I chucked these away…"

These were the days he hated working under the Administration Office, and under Hina no less. The woman never stopped giving him work whenever she saw him slacking off and it was just getting plain annoying. She had dumped the heavy package on him that afternoon along with a bunch of keys telling him to place those in the dorm room of every professor who had ordered them before early evening.

He would have passed them to Duval if only the other guy hadn't fallen sick after standing outside in the rain for an entire night serenading some unfortunate random chick.

"Shucks, if only I have some way or somebody to help me with these-" He paused mid sentence when someone flew out from behind the cafeteria doors and landed squarely with his butt sticking out in the air.

"Stay out for the rest of the day!" The cafeteria lady shouted while brandishing a broom menacingly. "You're depleting our food resources! It's still lunch hour and we've got crowds to serve after you!"

"But I just need another plateful or two of your beef burgers! Please! Those are really, really good!" The guy on the floor pleaded and clutched at his straw hat in ravenous agony.

"No! I don't care if you're Garp's grandson, it's never one or two plates with you! And if you're thinking of getting your brother to help you order more food, don't even bother, he's just as banned from my place as you are for today, especially after how he distressed my customer with his horrifying table manners. I have to bleach out her white dress for god's sake, to think he used it like a common napkin. Now off you go, shoo!" Finishing her tirade, she slammed the doors shut in his face.

Wait, had she said he was Garp's grandson?

"Oi, you there," Jango said and walked over to him. "She said you're Garp's grandson? Is that right?"

The straw hat wearing guy stood up and cocked his head at him in question. "Yeah, that's me. Why do you ask?"

Jango could feel a wide grin spreading itself across his face at his luck. Students were not allowed into the professors' dormitories, but one who was a family member of a professor would certainly get a lot more leeway. Smiling obscenely, he reached into his pocket and took out a long chain decorated with one simple yet devious looking ring.

"Hey, look here for a minute." He dangled the ring in front of the guy's eyes, which immediately snapped to them with magnetic fervor.

"One – Two –Three – Jango!"

To his glee, his nifty trick had worked and the guy now stared at him with a blank look on his face.

"What's your name?" Jango asked.

"Monkey D. Luffy," his unsuspecting victim said in a monotone.

"Good. Monkey D. Luffy, I want you to deliver this stack of magazines according to this list of room numbers to the professor's dorms. Once you're done with your work you are to lock all the doors and drop the keys off at the Administration Office. Capiche?"

The guy nodded dully and Jango snapped his fingers once, breaking him out of his trance.

"Awesome, now here are the magazines, the list of rooms and the keys, I'll be going now, thanks and bye!"

He vanished down the hallway before Luffy could question him. Looking down at the brown paper package in his arms with the list and keys thrown on top, he shrugged to himself nonchalantly. "Well, looks like I've got magazines to deliver."

Eager to get on with his entrusted mission, he began racing down the hallway in the direction of the professor dorms.

* * *

**One hour, forty-one minutes before Operation D, near Central Building**

A twirling, oddly shaped shadow leaped about joyfully on his way to the East Wing, pausing every so now and then to spin the brown package in his arms in a queer formation of a pas de deux.

"I-van-kov-sama! Here I come to deliver your special goods!"

He continued on his trip, speeding up in his haste with perfectly executed jetés along the way.

* * *

**One hour, forty minutes before Operation D, near Central Building**

"Gotta-go-faster-gotta-go-faster!"

Monkey D. Luffy had a mission to complete, and likewise with everything else passed on to him, he took it in stride to give it his all and more.

He was a burning pillar of willpower tasked with an unfailable mission, and nobody, _simply nobody_, would stand in his way.

* * *

**One hour, thirty-nine minutes before Operation D, Central Building**

There was no way in hell he could afford to be late, not when he was currently at the beck and call of the hailed Ivankov-sama.

Even if he were, he might as well arrive in style with a grand finale and polished aplomb. For now, he was a spiraling white top of dedicated passion and _by the_ _Okama Gods_ he would deliver his promise as if it were his swan song.

* * *

**One hour, thirty-eight minutes and ten seconds before Operation D, Central Building**

He was a bullet shot forth from the hot barrel of a gun too fast to stop and too bent on its target to notice the feathery white figure in a frilly tutu rapidly closing in from the opposite side.

* * *

**One hour, thirty-eight minutes and nine seconds before Operation D, Central Building**

His destination was getting closer and closer now, so close, so close! In fact, it was almost as close as the guy in a straw hat barricading towards him at full speed –

"Get outta the-"

* * *

**One hour, thirty-eight minutes and barely eight seconds before Operation D, Central Building**

"Wha-"

"Sto-"

Two unstoppable objects crashed into each other and were thusly sent flying backwards upon explosive impact.

Luffy landed in a familiar stance with his rear end up, face down on the floor while a few paces away, Bentham, or better known as Professor Bon Clay, lay groaning in a heap of ruffled feathers and twisted taxidermy swan necks.

"Didn't you see where you're going?" Bentham asked, slightly annoyed by the delay the boy had caused him. He sprang back up immediately and picked up the brown package off the ground. "I gotta be on my way now! Greetings to you, dear frantic young boy!"

He righted his crooked swan necks and disappeared in a fine frenzy of white frilled dancing. Luffy watched him for a few seconds, mesmerized by his queerness, before gathering up his fallen package to race ahead once more.

"What a weird guy. Wonder what he was in a hurry about."

He reached his destination shortly after, and stood twirling the keys on one finger excitedly as he opened the first door according to the given list and welcomed himself into the room.

"Wow, it sure looks real fancy, smells a bit funny though." He sniffed at the air, detecting what seemed to be remaining whiffs of expensive cigar smoke.

"Let's see, he said to leave the magazines here." He tore open the package and pulled out a copy.

"Okama Way of Life? What's this?" He stared at the brightly coloured bunch of papers in his hands, eyes scanning across its cover page at its garish details. "How I Came Out of the Closet as an Okama…Okama Queen Reveals Beauty Secrets – The Mascaraed Wink of Deadly Seduction…Ten Tips to Make His Eyelashes Curl…What Real Men Look Like – The Hardboiled Truth…Special Edition Issue including an anonymous interview with Mr Prince – My Life and Times Being In Touch With My Feminine Side…Published by Newkama Land Ltd... …This is one weird Alumni magazine. Must be a new trend, I think?"

He was about to put down the magazine when something distracted him out of the corner of his eye. "Oh! That's pretty cool!"

What had caught his attention was a grand painting of the never-ending ocean and widespread sky with a lone ship on it sailing merrily off into the sunset, its jolly roger proudly displayed for all to see. Sea monsters, swooping harpies and fantastical islands were depicted in the far off horizons, with all of it coming together in a vivid epitome of a child's wildest dreams come to life.

He admired the painting for a few treasured moments longer and moved on to give himself a tour of the place, poking his head around everywhere it could possibly fit.

"Eh, what's this?" Coming across a thick leather bounded black novel stuffed with notes and pieces of rough sketches, he flipped it open carelessly and skimmed the first few lines of the page. "Romance Dawn: The Prelude to a Grand Adventure on the High Seas of Piracy and Freedom. In the golden age of pirates, one young boy embarks on a life-changing journey to find that ever-elusive treasure in the distant shores…Blah-blah-blah, written by Sir – WHAT."

He scanned the pages again to check his eyesight. "_WHAT-!"_

He almost choked on his words in shock, eyes bugging out the size of Ivankov's head on a really bad hair day and jaw hanging wide enough to shove an entire dining table inside.

This had to be a joke. It just had to be, there was no other explanation for it. He had half a mind to drag everyone he ever knew in his life into the room, or to simply grab the book and make a run for it, but the knowledge of whose room he was standing in horrorstruck beyond words kept him rooted firmly in place.

Grudgingly, he placed the book back down, making a mental note to blab about it to all of his friends later.

"Oh crap! I've got to go deliver the rest of them!" Panicking now, he tossed the magazine onto the table without a second thought and burst out of the room.

One down. Who knows how many more left to go.

* * *

**Fifty-three minutes before Operation D, outside Administration Building**

"Luffy? What are you doing here?" Zoro called out to him when he saw the boy walk cheerfully out of the building.

"Oh hey! Zoro!" Luffy greeted, waving an arm enthusiastically at his friend. "I was just returning something, you'll never guess what I found-"

"Wait, what's that in your hand?" Zoro asked in suspicion, peering down at the hot pink and funky purple colours on the magazine spine in Luffy's hand.

"Oh this? It's just something someone told me to deliver to every professor's room. There was an extra left so I took one in case any of you might want it. You interested? It's got these weird tips, maybe it'd come in handy for you in your sword fighting classes." He handed the magazine over to Zoro, who stared at it for an overdue amount of time.

When he didn't speak but instead, started to pale in stark contrast to the flamboyantly coloured papers, Luffy poked him in the shoulder. "Zoro? Oi, Zoro! Why're you staring at it like that? If you want it that badly you can have it-"

"_What_ did you say you did again?_"_ Zoro asked with a stiff, strangely blanched face.

"Huh? I delivered these magazines to the professors' rooms-"

"YOU DID _WHAT!" _Zoro stared at him in bug-eyed disbelief.

"Why? What's wrong?" Luffy asked, scratching his head in confusion.

Zoro slapped his palm over his face and groaned into it, not wanting to deal with the look of pure bafflement on his friend's face. There were times when he truly wondered how the hell Luffy managed to get by in life, much less college.

He pointed at the condemning magazine. "Does that look like anything a professor would want to order?"

"The person told me they were Alumni magazines-"

"_Alumni _magazines." Zoro repeated slowly, staring at Luffy with such an awkward intensity it was a miracle he didn't burn holes in his head.

"I reckoned they were kinda weird, but it says here it's a special edition and-"

"Luffy," Zoro ground out, effectively shutting him up. "I think we can safely say it's not an Alumni magazine of any sort, hell, not if it says Okama on it in bright pink letters." He watched as Luffy closely inspected the garish papers in his hand for several lengthy, uncomfortable seconds.

It didn't take him long to start panicking and running round in circles in the imitation of a flustered, headless chicken flapping the magazine about madly. "Zoro! Help me! What do I do now, my gramps is gonna kill me! They're gonna expel me for sure this time! _Zoro!"_

"Stop running! I can't think with you going about like that!" Zoro snapped at him and Luffy halted mid-flap. "Who gave you the magazines? How did you get into the rooms anyway?"

Luffy scratched his chin deep in thought. "Um…I was kicked out of the cafeteria again…and there was this weird looking guy with round sunglasses and long hair outside. He told me to look at him and afterwards I can't remember what happened but I felt like I just had to help him deliver those magazines to the professor dorms. Oh! He passed me the keys and this list of rooms!" He finished with renewed hope and dug around in his pockets for a folded piece of paper…and zero keys.

"Damn it, I left them at the Administration Office. I don't think I can get them back now…" He said, his balloon of excitement deflating sadly.

"Sounds to me like you were tricked, but that doesn't make much sense. Why would that guy go to all the trouble to trick you and pass you the keys and those room numbers?" Zoro frowned in confusion.

"Ah!" Luffy yelped, startling Zoro out of his reverie. "I remember now! I ran into this guy in a white dress with two swans sticking out at the back! He was carrying this brown package like mine, we must have accidentally switched them when we bumped into each other!"

"Well, that explains everything now," Zoro muttered, cursing under his breath. "That guy you ran into was Professor Bon Clay, he's the vice president of Ivankov's Okama Club."

"Crap! What do I do Zoro!" Luffy pulled at his hat at a complete loss. "Sengoku said if he catches me for the fourth time this month he's gonna expel me or put me on suspension!"

"Calm down! You're not getting expelled, not yet anyway," Zoro pondered, wracking his brains in thought. "If only the others were here…we could just get Nami to steal them back – That's it!" He shouted in triumph, looking over at Luffy's skittering form. "Oi, Luffy! I've got an idea, let's go find Nami, she should be able to fix this."

"Really! Alright then! I think she's having Cartography class in Weatheria Building. You know where that is?" Luffy asked.

"Yeah, I've been there before, I think it's in this direction." Zoro pointed to a random spot.

"Ok, let's go!" Luffy clapped his hands in joy, glad to see a silver lining to his problem.

The two then began their journey to prevent Luffy from being expelled, with Zoro leading the way ahead in stubborn determination.

* * *

**Thirty-five minutes before Operation D, Baratie Building, near Kitchen 2B**

"Where are we?" Luffy wondered out loud. "This doesn't look like Weatheria block."

Zoro scratched his head in puzzlement. "I'm not sure, but this does look somehow familiar…" He had an ill boding feeling about the place, a sensation of disgusting déjà vu creeping up the back of his neck.

"Is that a kitchen!" Luffy exclaimed, overtaken by excitement at the thought of what lay inside. "Ah, that smells so good! Hey, isn't that Sanji? Hey Sanji!"

He bounced on his toes trying to catch the attention of the approaching blond culinary arts student.

"Hi Luffy, Marimo-head, what are you two doing here?" Sanji nodded at them in greeting.

"We're looking for Nami to help us steal back these magazines. I accidentally mixed them up with the Alumni magazines I was supposed to deliver when I bumped into this Tutu wearing guy." Luffy said candidly, flashing the papers in Sanji's face.

"What kind of trouble have you gotten into now, what magazine is this-" Sanji stiffened when he noted the cover and promptly grabbed it with lightly trembling hands. His deathly ashen face resembled someone who had just seen Ivankov in the nude.

"If you want it that badly you can have it-" Zoro said snidely.

"_Shut up," _Sanji snapped, hastily trusting the magazine back into Luffy's arms. "Idiot, I was only appalled by the cover, that's all. Why are you getting Nami-swan to steal them back? Why were you delivering these nasty things in the first place?"

"Some guy tricked me into delivering Alumni magazines to the professors' dorms and I ended up delivering these instead." Luffy explained, watching as Sanji visibly paled with each word.

"You idiot!" He finally said after a long pause. "And you're now going to involve Nami in all this?" He looked from Luffy's blank face to Zoro's indifferent one and back.

Zoro held up the long list of room numbers in Sanji's scowling face. "If you can think of anyone else who's up for the job of breaking and entering into more than thirty professors' rooms, go ahead."

"And I kinda put them all over the place." Luffy added unhelpfully.

Huffing out in annoyance, Sanji reached into his pockets for a much needed cigarette. "Count me in, knowing you two morons, there has to be someone to protect Nami-swan from your troublemaking selves."

"I'm only helping him from getting expelled." Zoro retorted back.

Ignoring him, Sanji took a drag out of his lighted cigarette and glared at Zoro. "You got lost again?"

Zoro immediately launched into a series of indignant justifications, to which Sanji countered in mocking jest, with Luffy bringing up the rear reading the magazine in intrigued silence.

* * *

**Twenty-two minutes before Operation D, Weatheria Building**

"Somebody please enlighten me why I'm doing this again." Nami said, massaging the bridge of her nose to quell her impending headache. She had known at the first sight of the trio approaching her after a short phone call that nothing good was to come of it. Her gut feeling was scarily accurate when it came to Luffy and his trouble finding tendencies.

"Because I'll be expelled or suspended if Sengoku catches me more than three times this month! Please Nami! I'll do anything!" Luffy pleaded with hands clasped in front of her and crazed eyes.

"Just put him out of his misery already." Zoro piped in.

"I'll do it if you don't want to, Nami-swan!" Sanji offered himself up with a hopeful beam.

"Ugh, alright alright!" She conceded. "But, you're owing me big time, buddy." She pointed at Luffy in warning when his miserable expression turned ecstatic at her agreement.

"Yay! Thanks Nami! I don't know what I'll do without you!" He bounced on his heels in immense gratitude, looking ready to envelop her in a monster hug.

She couldn't help the smile that slipped itself out of her irritated mask at that. "Thank me later when we're done with this. We've got some problems we need to address, first, how do I know the professors aren't going to be in the rooms when I break in? Since we know that guy who passed you the keys was an administration staff and there wasn't anyone in the rooms when you barged in earlier, it could be that he knew the rooms would be unoccupied at the time when he passed those keys to you. But the question is, how long until the professors start returning to their dorms? Also, and more importantly, how am I supposed to know where to find those magazines you've littered all over like an Easter egg hunt?"

"I think I can remember where I dropped them!" Luffy said. "I could go with you!"

"Idiot, the reason why Nami's volunteering to do this is partly 'cause your neck's on the chopping block if you're caught," Sanji said, looking at Luffy in exasperation. He paused for a moment in thought before speaking up again. "I think Franky has a communication device which can be used in a scenario like this. Luffy could instruct you through the speakers while you commence the operation."

Luffy's eyes lit up all over spitting fireworks in barely contained elation. "I remember that device! It's part of a spy kit he's been developing, he showed it to me, Usopp and Chopper last month! This is so cool, Nami, you're a spy!"

"You know, that actually suits perfectly." Zoro cut in with a smirk, which earned him a glare from her.

"Very funny guys, I fail to see the entertainment in that. But, thanks for the suggestion Sanji, if I'm not wrong Franky also has this computer hacking system so he might know the professors' individual schedules and who resides in which room."

Luffy looked ready to spontaneously combust right then. "I know that computer you're talking about! It's also part of his spy collection he's developing as a prototype for the Department of National Security! It's a supercomputer, only he calls it his Super supercomputer! Ah, this is like something out of the movies!"

"Sounds great," Nami said without enthusiasm. "Let's go find Franky and let him know what he's in for."

* * *

**Fifteen minutes before Operation D, Water Seven Building, Classroom 3A**

"Whoa. _Whoa. Whoa!" _Luffy drooled over the sleek, glistening steel machinery and wide screen of the supercomputer on the table that Franky was currently setting up.

"Yes, Luffy, we get it. We heard you the first fifteen times," Nami peered down at the micro camera and headset in her hands. "So, I only need to speak into this and I'll hear everyone in this room? And the camera will be linked to this screen?"

"Yup, that's right, it's linked through wireless technology. I'm using the school's wifi under a hidden IP address and customized SSL security on top of cryptography. So, neither the computer nor the headset can be traced back to this room." Franky explained from where he was plugging in the last bits of wire to the hard drive of the supercomputer.

Nami nodded numbly before she registered someone pulling on the sleeve of her T-shirt. "_What _now, Luffy_?"_

He was looking mighty suspicious with a brown paper bag in his hand. "You have to use this too, Nami."

She grudgingly accepted the bag and peered into it, feeling confused when she pulled out a jet-black turtleneck sweater and pants set.

"What is this?" She asked, dreading the answer.

"It's part of your spy get-up. You have to look the part too to fit in with the operation." Luffy explained, grinning widely.

"That doesn't even-" Utterly perplexed, she turned to gaze at Franky questioningly.

He merely shrugged at her from where he was keying in the password to the computer. "I got it from a CIA field agent, there's a men's set too."

"It makes no difference if I wear this-" Nami began to say but got cut off by Luffy's indignant protests.

"But Nami, it's a _spy_ outfit. And you're going to be _spying_ around later." He stared at her as if _she_ were the dimwitted one.

"You know, it does look super cool." Franky added.

"It's not even dark outside and there's lights in the hallways and rooms." Nami said with deadpanned seriousness.

"You're not getting it Nami!" Luffy huffed in exasperation. "You need to dress up as a spy to fit in with the spy operation. It's much cooler and makes more sense that way!"

"Anything my Nami-swan wears will look good on her!" Sanji piped in.

"Wear it if you want to, wear it if you don't want to." Zoro said bluntly.

"What kind of choice does that – Ugh, fine. Fine. I'll wear it just so you'll shut up." Nami grumbled and stalked off to change in the adjoining room. "And no peeking from you, Sanji."

"What's that magazine again?" Franky asked out of curiosity while waiting for his computer to boot up.

"Something about Okama," Luffy supplied, holding it out for Franky to look at. "It's pretty cool actually, it talks about how hipsteronomanity shouldn't stop people living the way they want to if they are born Okama at heart."

"Heteronormativity," Sanji corrected when Franky appeared confused.

Zoro gazed at Sanji shrewdly. "Didn't know you were secretly into that kind of thing."

Sanji flared up instantaneously, glaring at Zoro with full force. "I'm not. Anyone with half a brain would know words like that. "

"You sure you're not hiding something, Curly-brow?"

"You sure you're not hiding less than half a brain, Marimo?"

"Ok, knock it off guys!" Nami interjected, stomping out from the other room. "The sweater's a bit tight in the chest but I'll manage."

"You look ravishing, Nami-swan!" Sanji rushed to compliment her, forgetting Zoro in a flash.

"Cool! Your boots match it too!" Luffy marveled aloud in glee.

"Are we good to go now, Franky?" Nami asked, ignoring the other two including Zoro, who was still silently fuming at Sanji.

"We're super, Nami!" Franky declared, giving her a thumbs-up.

"Good, let's get this over and done with."

* * *

**Eight minutes before official commencement of Operation D**

"I need to head out for awhile." Luffy announced barely two minutes after Nami's departure.

"What! Didn't you just hear how you're not supposed to go in with Nami?" Sanji said.

"No it's not that! I need to go to the washroom, I'll be quick!" Luffy explained, fidgeting a bit on his toes in discomfort.

"Fine, but be quick."

"Thanks Sanji!"

* * *

**Five minutes before Operation D, outside the gent's washroom in Waterseven Building**

"Whew, that's a relief, why'd they build the washrooms so far from the classrooms anyway. And the cafeteria's further still…" Luffy emerged from the washroom feeling much lighter on his feet. He was about to head back to the classroom when he caught sight of someone walking past the corridors.

"Hey Traff-guy!" He yelled out, waving his arm about enthusiastically.

* * *

**Five minutes before Operation D, along the corridors in Waterseven Building**

"Hey Traff-guy!"

Law stiffened in his footsteps. He could recognize that dreaded voice and that godforsaken nickname anywhere.

He contemplated moving on his way to the cafeteria and pretending not to have heard him, but Strawhat-ya's increasingly louder calls were beginning to attract nearby attention.

"Oi Torao!"

"Torao-guy!"

"Traffy!"

With a defeated sigh, he turned and walked towards Luffy. "Strawhat-ya," he said, nodding his head in greeting.

"Hi!" Luffy nodded back with a wide grin. "Where're you headed to, Traffy?"

"Dorms." Law lied smoothly. If he had said he was headed to the cafeteria, there was no doubt the boy would vehemently insist on coming along.

"I see. I'm currently involved in a spy operation." Luffy said proudly. Law simply stared at him, unsure as to what to make of his unexpected declaration.

Something occurred to him in the back of his mind just then. "Have you seen Nami around? She's not answering any of my messages."

She had threatened not to come for the week's study session after their last episode where he suffered her wrath. To ensure she wasn't going to follow through with her threat, he had been messaging her some of his own that morning.

"Ah Nami, she's the one doing the spying. Crap! I'm supposed to be back soon or else Sanji's gonna yell at me again!" He looked ready to split but Law stopped him short.

"Nami-ya is spying?" He asked skeptically.

"I misplaced some Okama magazines in the professors' dorms and now she's going to help me steal them back – never mind, I'll explain later! You should come and see for yourself, Franky's got this really cool computer!" Luffy said and began pulling Law towards the classroom despite his protests.

* * *

**Present time, Marineford Central Residences – Second Floor Hallway. Official commencement of Operation D**

_Just in case there's anyone inside_, Nami thought to herself and rapped on the door loudly three times. She tensed ready to bolt or come up with an excuse if anyone were to open it. After a few moments of uneasy waiting, she placed her ear against the door and listened.

When she was certain the coast was clear, she set off to work on the door's lock, sliding the lock picks into it with the ease of practice.

There was a satisfying click and she smiled as she pushed open the door to let herself in. Shutting the door behind her, she spoke into the receiver.

"I'm in room 201, that's the first room on the list. Do you remember where you placed it, Luffy?" She asked as she walked around the place, checking under the furniture and on the tops of shelves, tables and chairs.

"Uh…Wait, Let me think…201, right…Oh. _Oh_. OH!" His voice screeched into Nami's ear, reverberating along her poor eardrums and sending sharp jolts of pain into her head.

"Luffy!" She scolded through gritted teeth. She could hear Sanji yelling at him in the background at him to pipe it down.

"Sorry Nami! I just remembered something about the room I wanted to tell you guys about-"

"Should I ask Franky to do a search on whose room this is?" Nami asked. "He said it might take awhile though." A glorious painting hung in the room and she stood there admiring it when something caught her attention. It was minuscule but it was still there.

"There's no need! I know whose room this is! It's-"

"Sir-" She leant forward to inspect the cursive signature on the bottom right of the painting.

"Crocodile." They both spoke in unison to the hushed background silence.

"Wait, how'd you know that?" Luffy asked.

"It says here on this painting. Wow, I didn't know Crocodick was such a good artist." Nami, said, feeling a strange mix of awe and weirdness at the discovery of her hated professor's secret talent and pastime.

"Wait_, Crocodile_ painted that? _Crocodile?"_ Zoro asked in an incredulous tone.

"Maybe he forged his signature on it." Sanji suggested, sounding equally dubious.

"There's this book he was writing too! Oh, I remember now! That's where I placed the magazine!" Luffy said.

Moving into the study room, Nami's eyes snapped to a black leather bound book on the table next to the stark contrast of the magazine.

"I've got it," she said as she placed the magazine into her bag pack. One down, thirty-something more to go.

Curious, she picked up the book and carefully riffled through the pages, eyes widening with each flip of paper.

Luffy was still chatting away nonstop in her ear. "-and this boy goes in search of adventure, but the ending seems unfinished at the back, like he gave up halfway or something." Behind him, she could hear a chorus of "what" exclaimed in various shades of shocked disbelief.

"Crocodile wrote a-a _children's_ book?" Zoro said, sounding weirded out.

"I thought he hated everyone, adults and children both." Sanji said in confusion.

"It must have been sometime back, time changes people." Franky mused.

"Something might have happened to trigger such a drastic change." Law said in thought.

"I'm done," Nami stated, placing the book down and zipping up her bag. "Now that we've all come to a conclusion that Crocodile wasn't born a dick, let's move on to the next room. Which is..." She looked down at her list. "202."

Once she was outside the room, she locked the door from the inside and pulled it shut. Satisfied with the resounding click, she moved forwards to the next one, thinking to herself that a reassessment of Crocodile might be needed in future.

This mission was turning out to be full of surprises and was almost, dare she say it – fun.

* * *

**Five minutes into Operation D, Room 202**

"There's no guessing whose room this is." Nami said in a deadpanned tone as she stood in the middle of the bedroom gazing up at the framed portrait of someone with a big red nose smiling suavely down at her. A blue banner stretched across the walls, spelling out the words 'Buggy the Great' in bold red lettering.

"We can see that." Zoro said, sounding equally deadpan.

"Man, does this guy love himself or what." Franky quipped.

She stepped past the king-sized bed with its royal blue quilt and crouched down to check under it. A den of secret boxes filled with god knows what met her eyes.

"What did you do in this room?" She asked Luffy.

"Uh…let me see, I think I opened his closet…"

Nami crossed over to the dark walnut closet and began opening it to check its contents. "Oh god, I did not need to see that."

"We didn't need to see that either." Zoro said dryly.

"I think my eyes are burning from looking at those…hideous monstrosities." Sanji said with a groan.

Luffy started chuckling. "Oh yeah, he has weird taste in underwear."

She quickly shut the drawers. "It's not here, where else did you go?"

"Um…Oh! I went to the table beside his bed. He had a funny list of things there."

Nami checked the table and sure enough, she could see the corner of the magazine peeking out at her shamelessly from behind a large spiral notebook titled 'My Flashy Plans and To Do List – Highly Confidential, Do Not Look'.

Of course, she took a glance at its contents, and promptly started laughing. Hearing her, Luffy joined in.

"What are you laughing at, Nami-swan?" Sanji asked.

"We could use a little camera adjustment." Zoro added.

"Fine, guys. For your entertainment." Nami held the list up directly in front of the camera.

Zoro immediately started laughing his head off. "R-research how to get them to-to stop calling my n-nose b-big and r-r-" He trailed off in a series of loud guffaws and what sounded like someone pounding his fist repeatedly on the table in shaking laughter.

"Become the richest man on Earth," Sanji read aloud and scoffed. "Well, that's rich."

"Overthrow Sengoku to become new headmaster." Franky let out a low whistle. "This dude's got high aspirations."

"Get asked out by Hancock – in your dreams you son of a red-nosed bastard." Sanji growled through gritted teeth.

"My world domination plans," Law read and let out a huff of amused laughter. "I'd like to see how he attempts to accomplish that."

"This could be good blackmail material, hold on." Nami said and reached for her cellphone to snap a few photos.

"You devious witch." Zoro commented wryly.

"So you did have your phone with you." Law stated.

"Hm? Yeah. Yes, I did," Nami said and pocketed her phone.

"You deleted my messages." Law said in an accusatory tone.

"Nope, I read them, but I decided ignorance is bliss. Seeing how the three of you were so ignorant over what happened before, I thought I could afford to do the same." Nami said nonchalantly.

"Give it up, witch, that was ages ago." Zoro grumbled.

"_That_ was barely two weeks ago." Nami shot back.

"You heard her, Marimo-head-" Sanji interrupted in chivalrous anger.

"You have nothing to do with this, idiot cook!" Zoro retorted.

Nami thought for a while. "On the contrary…Sanji?"

"Yes, Nami-swan?"

"Do me a favour and stop answering Luffy's idiotic questions relating to stuff that belongs to me."

"Yes! Nami-swan!"

"Oh, and I heard that, Law. Say that again and you'll get the literal meaning soon enough. Alright, I'm done here, let's move on to the next room."

"What did you say to her, Trafalgar Law?" Sanji asked in a dangerous undertone.

As she exited the room, she couldn't help the smirk on her face. So far, she had gained delicious fodder on both Crocodile and Buggy. This was turning out far better than she could have hoped for.

She wouldn't wish to ever have to actually try to use the information against them, but it was always better to have an ace up her sleeve in case they ever pushed her over the edge.

After all, _hell hath no fury like a woman scorned._

* * *

**Ten minutes into Operation D, Room 203**

"This guy's room is as messy as yours when you were living in the college dorms, Zoro." Nami remarked as she glanced around the inside of what looked like a man's den. Alcohol bottles, used cigars, books, documents and clothes were strewn haphazardly all over the place.

"That's because I used to room with someone who's a proper neat freak," Zoro countered. "My side only looked messy because his side looked like a girl's-"

"Who are you calling girly, you disgusting slob?" Sanji cut in furiously.

"What else do you call someone who colour coordinates his underwear?" Zoro snapped back.

"Says the guy who hangs his on the foot of the bed." Sanji growled out.

"Uh, ok, that was too much unnecessary information," Nami cut in quickly before they could argue further. "I'm surprised you guys didn't kill each other last year."

"Oh, I had been tempted to, many times." Sanji said, his voice pitching dangerously low.

"I'm still working on it." Zoro threatened darkly.

"Cut it out, guys." Nami said, coughing a bit. "God, this place is worse than Crocodile's. I think he dismantled the smoke alarms in here. Where did you say you placed it again, Luffy?"

"Um…In the bathroom." Luffy said.

Nami walked over to the bathroom and opened the cabinet to find the magazine there beside bottles of hair gel, cologne and shaving cream. There was another cigar, unlit this time, lying beside the toothbrush and she peered at it closely, feeling something click in her mind.

"I think I know whose room this is." Nami stated, effectively breaking apart the fight between Zoro and Sanji in the background.

"Who is it?" Franky asked, mildly curious.

"Smoker."

"Figures."

* * *

**Thirteen minutes into Operation D, Room 204**

"I just realized something, guys." Nami said, laughing.

"What?" Luffy asked.

"Buggy's room is in-between Crocodile and Smoker. I don't know who to feel sorry for." She said, chuckling lightly at the thought.

"Boy, that must make for really awkward mornings." Franky remarked.

"Do you think they might be friends?" Luffy mused out loud.

"What! Buggy will be dead before he even breaches the distance between them, much less the topic of friendship." Sanji said.

"No, not him. Crocodile and Smoker, I mean, they're always hanging around smoking and their cigars smell like each other's sometimes." Luffy said.

"Who knows, maybe they bonded over Buggy. What's that saying again - the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Zoro said.

"Didn't know you had half a brain, Marimo-head." Sanji remarked.

"More than you, dumb blond."

"Well, if they're smoking buddies, I think I've just found out who's Smoker's drinking buddy." Nami stated, looking around the room. "It looks like some vampire overlord's castle in here. Do you think he sleeps in a coffin?"

Zoro snorted. "You're the one standing in his room, why not you find out?"

Nami smirked as she inspected the black and red walls and gothic interior design. "Are we jealous now, Zoro?"

"What! The hell makes you think that?" Zoro yelled, sounding perturbed.

She raised her brows at the brands of liquor in the wine cabinet. The guy had excellent, albeit expensive taste. "I don't know, you do sort of look up to him-"

"That's because he's my swordsmanship mentor and physical fitness professor."

She moved on to the bookshelf, checking the dark rows of book spines for any flash of garish pink. He had enough classic horror and thriller novels to make Robin envious. "You get all fired up whenever you hear us making fun of him."

"Right, because those references to the Zorro and Dracula movies are really hilarious." Zoro said, unamused.

"I'm not even going to go into the whole debate on how you two almost share the same name based on that movie." Nami said. She tuned Zoro out completely and addressed Luffy instead.

"Luffy, where did you say you went after looking at the bookshelf?" She asked, ignoring Zoro's indignant shouts and Sanji's jeering.

"I remember now! I put it in the guitar case." Luffy replied.

Spotting a black guitar case on the floor beside the shelf, she unzipped it to reveal the magazine hidden behind a mahogany acoustic guitar.

"Great, got it. I don't think he would've appreciated a muse with Okama roots. And by the way, Zoro." Nami called out to what sounded like a sulking swordsman.

"What do you want, witch?"

"Help me ask your mentor where he gets his vanilla, spice and musk scented candles from, he's got class."

* * *

**Fifty-seven minutes into Operation D, Room 219**

"I've got another case of Buggy here." Nami said as she shuddered at the giant portrait on the wall. "No wait, I think this guy's worse."

"He's probably a narcissist." Law commented dryly.

"I think he probably worships himself." Nami said, trying not to look at the rows of photos next to a life size statue of Enel in the Buddha's cross-legged pose.

"That wouldn't be surprising in the least." Law said in distaste.

"Shit. This is so disgusting!" Sanji exclaimed in horror.

"I had him for class once." Franky said. "The dude's halfway round the moon, he kept telling us to call him God and would zap anyone who tries otherwise with the electrical wires on full blast. Can't say I missed him at all."

"Why do I hear snoring?" Nami said, frowning.

"Marimo-head's asleep. The lucky bastard." Sanji grumbled.

"Where'd you put them, Luffy? Please make this quick, I don't want to stay here a second longer. Geez, I keep feeling his eyes on me everywhere I go. It's as if he can appear any moment." Nami shuddered.

"It was something about the moon…Oh yeah! I went to the balcony. There was a telescope and I think I dropped it there." Luffy replied.

Nami made her way into the balcony without looking up at the pictures. Just as what Luffy had said, the magazine was on the floor next to a huge telescope. A chart of the lunar cycle was taped to the wall with a series of odd markings and calculations written on it. Grabbing the magazine, Nami stuffed it into her bag, resolutely not looking at where she was sure she could spy another miniature shrine of Enel on the balcony table.

"Done, I'm getting out of this freak show."

* * *

**One hour into Operation D, Room 220**

"Great, this is the last room on the level. Looks pretty normal." Nami said, peering about the place. The room looked relatively tame compared to the previous one, with dark blue walls and minimalistic furniture. Walking over to the television cabinet, Nami glanced at the DVD titles and grimaced. "I take it back. This guy is as sick as you, Law."

"It's called common taste in movies, Nami-ya." Law replied.

"How can you stomach these things? God, I hope Robin doesn't have nightmares thanks to you." Nami said, paling at a certain title.

"We actually don't watch those, she prefers something less… repulsive and gory, more subtle and classic." Law said.

"Good to know," Nami said, moving away from the shelf. "Do you recall anything, Luffy?"

"I think I went to his bedroom, there was this creepy painting on the wall." Luffy said.

"Well damn it, I've had enough of freaky pictures." Nami walked into the bedroom in resignation. The first thing she saw was an old punching bad in a corner of the room with what looked like old blood stains on it next to a plain, slate grey bed. Next to the writing desk was a chest full of puppets and several costumes including one that looked like a magician's outfit. She looked up at the wall above the bed and heard someone give a startled yelp.

"Geez, Zoro, you almost scared me to death." Nami mumbled.

"You didn't wake up to _that_." Zoro said, sounding slightly creeped out.

"What the hell is that supposed to be?" Sanji asked in disgust.

"I believe it's supposed to depict a man massacring a few hundred people in a river of blood with the devil looming behind him as he rips out their jugulars-"

"We get it, you and him are birds of the same feather," Nami said, cutting Law off much to the gratitude of the rest. "You guys could perhaps become best buds."

"I'll let you know if it happens." He said mockingly.

She was about to fire back a retort when something spooked her out of her skin. A flurry of white flew past her vision to land on the post of the bed. She bit back her scream when she realized it was only a dove. It cocked its head at her and cooed a few times, staring her down with its beady little eyes.

"Where is it, Luffy?" She asked, feeling a growing need to get the hell out of this room.

"In the closet I think." Luffy replied.

She cursed as she neared the closet, hoping the guy didn't have any real skeletons in them. Opening them, she yelped when something white dropped out, hitting her in the face.

"Are you alright, Nami?" Sanji's concerned voice asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, it was just an old stuffed…dove." Nami said picking up the lifelike object hesitantly. On closer inspection it was another puppet, one modeled after the same live bird hovering around the bed. A sliver of pink was noticeable in the bottom of the closet.

She breathed out a sigh of relief she hadn't realized she had been holding. "I've found it. I'm getting the hell out of here, there's something creepy about this place."

* * *

**One hour, four minutes into Operation D, Room 308**

"Look, Sanji, it's your dream come true." Zoro sneered derisively.

"You wanna die, Marimo-head!" Sanji snarled in anger.

"Why can't we skip this one? I don't think Ivankov will mind his own magazine." Luffy said, slightly confused.

"He'll still know that someone's been in the room." Nami explained.

"Nami's right," Franky said. "Wow, he appeared to be a colourful sort of guy, but I didn't reckon he'd be so hardcore."

"That's one way of putting it." Nami said as she walked past a fluffy hot pink loveseat dangling from the ceiling next to a glittering silver pole. Everywhere she cast her eyes at was a spectrum of wild colours, most of it a pulsing red, pink or purple. There wasn't an inch of floor that wasn't covered in plush cotton candy pink carpeting, and the furniture was either draped in fluffy neon boas or it was a ghastly concoction of leopard print leather or polka dotted faux snakeskin.

To her surprise, the bookshelf was filled with books on gender and sexuality discourse, biological medical tomes, and topics on laws regarding sexual equality and lifestyles.

"I remember seeing this box full of weirdly shaped objects under the bed, I think." Luffy piped up.

"That just…sounds so wrong." Nami said. She was certain her face was turning a lovely shade of fuchsia as bright as the lace thong on the blushing pink bed. This _guy_ had racier underwear than her.

"Maybe you're just thinking the wrong things." Law said, sounding far too amused for her liking.

"Shut it, Law, what else am I supposed to think about. I mean, look at this place!" Closing her eyes, she counted to three and ducked her head down to look under the bed.

"That's a lot of boxes down there." Franky remarked.

"The one I saw was a big one, it was bright yellow I think." Luffy said.

Praying to the heavens that there was nothing incriminating inside, Nami reached out for the biggest yellow box and pulled it out into the light of the bedroom.

"Oh! I remember! I might have left it at the bottom." Luffy said sheepishly.

She would have strangled him if her arms were long enough to stretch all the way over to the engineering classroom.

At first glance, the contents of the box didn't look like much. There were a few pairs of fishnet stockings, old perfume bottles and some trashy romantic comedy DVDs. Just when she thought it couldn't be that bad, she stumbled upon a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs and a long whip as black as sin. Digging further in, more whips of different designs and lengths appeared, followed by a bunch of underwear ten times more revolting than Buggy's.

"Damn it! I need bleach for my eyes!" Sanji wailed in misery.

"Hell. That's-that's really…" Zoro stuttered, trailing off at a loss for words.

"Yeah. It is really…" Franky said, sounding just as horrorstruck.

"Why's there a hole in it? And what're those beads and spikes for? How come it's all knotty and see-through? Mine don't look anything like that." Luffy said in all innocence.

"Strawhat-ya, I don't think it's supposed to even look like that." Law said, sounding a bit stiff.

Nami moaned in agony. "I will wash and never be clean, or god so help me."

She looked down at the Pandora's Box of doom and reached halfway in to grab the last bits of horrifying fabric out of the way when she froze at the sight of the magazine lying beneath the…_thing_.

"Why's that such a weird shape?" Luffy asked.

"My eyes. Fuck. My eyes." Sanji mumbled soullessly.

"Holy hell. Don't touch that Nami." Franky warned.

"What the fuck is that thing?" Zoro asked in a choked voice.

Law was silent for several awkward seconds. "It looks like some kind of d-"

"_Stop!_ I do _not_ need to hear that." Nami said, looking down at the object in morbid fascination. She didn't have a problem if anyone used those kinds of _things_, though there was a world's difference between that and coming across _somebody else's_ _used_ _thing_._ "Fuck my life."_

A thought struck her and she felt her blood go still in her veins. "Please tell me you didn't touch it, Luffy."

"Um…"

"God, Luffy!" Nami yelled into the receiver.

"Don't come near me you walking filth carrier!" Sanji yelped. There was a small ruckus in the background that sounded like someone tripping over another in his haste to move away.

"You didn't touch me just now, did you." Zoro said in a deathly pale voice.

"He did go to the washroom." Franky said, sounding exasperated at their overreactions.

Quelling her screaming insides, Nami used one of the DVDs to push the _thing_ to one side and gingerly pulled out the magazine by a fraction of its corner.

She quickly dumped it into her bag, not wanting to hold onto it for a second longer.

"Wait, how're we gonna know which magazine isn't touched by _that_?" Zoro asked, sounding a bit nauseous.

"We're going to throw it all away." Sanji said, a glint of steely determination in his voice.

"All of it." Nami agreed.

* * *

**One hour, twelve minutes into Operation D, Room 309**

"Of course, it makes sense that those two would live next to each other." Nami said, feeling defeated. The room she stood in was nowhere as ghastly as the previous, but it was every bit as flamboyant in a white, frilly sort of way.

"Nami, I went past that huge white swan." Luffy said.

She stared at what appeared to be a taxidermy of a trumpeter swan wearing a pink tutu next to the television. "Yeah, I see it too. It's kind of hard to miss."

"This guy must have some kinda feather fetish." Franky commented.

Black and white feathers lined picture frames, chairs, mirrors and even the tablecloths were trimmed in soft white goose down. A row of ballet shoes were hung by their trailing ribbons on a rack next to a shelf full of written works by Ivankov, classical music CDs and ballet performance DVDs.

"There was this dressing table in the bedroom, I think I left it there." Luffy said.

"What is with you and people's bedrooms." Nami muttered as she walked into the pristine white room.

A four-poster bed stood in the middle complete with lacy white drapes. The dressing table was cluttered with all sorts of makeup products next to another rack where various odd looking headpieces hung from it. This guy had enough beauty products to turn her eyes green.

Opening the drawers, she found the magazine and was relieved that there was no need to snoop around in dubious places.

"This was quick." Nami remarked lightly.

Luffy huffed in displeasure. "This was _boring_."

Everyone pointedly ignored Luffy as Nami exited the room for the next one.

* * *

**One hour, fifteen minutes into Operation D, Room 310**

"You're dripping blood on me, you idiot Ero-cook." Zoro said, sounding pissed off.

"I think he's turned to stone now." Franky said in an amused tone.

"T-t-this…this is p-paradise…" Sanji sang out with a jubilant sigh at the current object of his affections.

Nami stood in front of a high fashion photo-shoot of Professor Boa Hancock. The entire room had a distinct feminine touch in its elegant floral patterned wallpaper and furnishings. Judging by the entrancing row of black and white portrait shots on the wall, the woman had to have been a model back in her days. The entire feel of the room would have carried a great presence, if not for several contrasting oddities which clashed with the coolly aloof vibe.

One irrefutable example was the floppy straw hat sitting jauntily atop a sculpture of the woman herself.

"Erm…is it just me or does that hat look awfully similar to Luffy's?" Nami asked skeptically as she examined the hat up close.

"It does not! My beautiful goddess would never wear anything the same as this simpleton!" Sanji said in denial.

"I don't know man, it does look identical." Franky said.

"She had a lot of good movies too, those are my favourites." Luffy added.

"She doesn't look like someone who'd share the same taste as your slapstick comedies…" Nami said, trailing off when she noted the cheesy DVDs next to an older looking bunch of films centering a feminist theme.

"The lady must have an eclectic taste in movies." Sanji protested.

"Go to the kitchen, Nami! She had a long list of food and recipes on the table! Those meat dishes sounded _so good_…" Luffy trailed off dreamily.

Sanji grew excited in an instant. "Not only is she beautiful, but the lady can cook too-"

"There wasn't anything edible in the fridge though. The beef casserole looked kinda raw and lumpy and the steak on the counter was all smoky and hard." Luffy said.

"Shut up!" Sanji scolded. "What do you know about cooking except stuffing your mouth with it!"

Nami prodded the sad looking blackened slab on the kitchen table next to the magazine. "I hate to break it to you, Sanji. But it does feel pretty rock solid."

"Every novice chef makes mistakes, I'd eat anything my goddess cooks for me no matter what it looks like. It's the inside that counts!" Sanji proclaimed grandly with great pride.

Zoro scoffed. "If you say so, love cook."

"Shitty Marimo, you can't even cook to save your life."

"The hell I can't! How do you think I survived during our one year living in the dorms, huh?"

"Cup noodles do not count, dumbass."

Tuning them out, Nami picked up the magazine from the table full of meat recipes and paused when she noticed a red and black book decorated with heart shaped doodles in pink and gold marker. Scattered flower petals were strewn all over the tablecloth beside a vase of half plucked daisies.

The book appeared to be a diary and was locked tight. Narrowing her eyes, she could make out several faint impressions on the recipe papers. Someone had sat there earlier with a pen in hand lovingly practicing the signature 'M. D. Hancock' –

Nami's eyes widened a fraction and she put down the diary with an amused smile.

"You're not going to read it?" Zoro asked in disbelief.

"It's locked." She said with a satisfied smirk.

Zoro snorted. "Like that has ever stopped you before."

"Shut up you numbskull. Didn't you know it's impolite to read a woman's personal diary?" Sanji scolded.

"What are you laughing about, Nami?" Luffy asked.

"Ah, it's nothing. Nothing you're interested in, sadly."

* * *

**One hour, nineteen minutes into Operation D, Room 311**

"This guy seems pretty cool." Franky remarked.

Nami had to agree with him on this. The room sported a laidback, retro vibe with vinyl records and vintage blues and jazz music posters decorating the beige walls, navy Italian leather lounge seats surrounding an indoor cinema system, and even an authentic gramophone resting casually against the ebony coffee table.

"There was this trumpet on his study table in his bedroom." Luffy said.

Nami put down the couple of noir films back on the table. "A trumpet?" It didn't sound like it fit in with this background.

Stepping into the bedroom, her eyes landed on the musical instrument lying atop the study table. "Luffy, that's a saxophone."

"Oh. It all looks the same to me anyway." Luffy replied offhandedly.

"I see it," Nami said, grabbing the magazine off the table. Her eyes fell on something taped to the calendar and she felt her blood cool into liquid ice within her rapidly slowing pulse.

"Nami? Are you there? Nami!" Luffy called out. She continued to stand there with her mouth hanging agape at the class schedule on the calendar.

"Nami-swan? Are you alright?" Sanji asked anxiously.

No she was not alright. No way in hell was she alright with the _Glaciology class schedule _staring her tauntingly in the face with a scribbled _'Don't miss – hot redhead with big boobs' _scrawled leisurely across the –

"What's that written on the calendar-" Luffy began to ask but she cut him off frostily.

"_Nothing._ It was _nothing_." Nami said stiffly, feeling the blood drain from her entire being. "Absolutely _nothing_ to be concerned about."

"Then why do you sound all funny?" Luffy asked, confused.

Her eyes darted to the old school pinup posters plastered on one side of the wall and she found herself snarling at the redheaded woman in the middle.

"I _knew_ it. That icy bastard." She growled out under her breath.

"The who?" Sanji asked. "You ok, Nami-swan?"

"You know this guy, Nami?" Franky questioned.

She jolted ramrod straight and clenched her fists around the magazine, not caring if she crumpled it. _Perverted ice bastard, he just had to have them somewhere. _

Flinging the magazine into her bag, she dropped down to the floor and looked under the bed, cursing furiously when she found nothing.

"Um, Nami, what are you doing?" Luffy asked hesitantly.

She began flipping over the mattress and digging around in the pillows.

"Have you gone mad, witch?" Zoro sounded mildly disturbed.

Sanji growled at him. "Shut your trap Marimo! My dear Nami-swan is clearly distraught!"

Ignoring them, she started rummaging through the drawers and feeling around the back of the desk. _To hell with this, they just had to be there somewhere –_

"Mind enlightening us what you're so desperately searching for?" Law asked, slightly curious.

She slammed open the closet and snarled in frustration when she found nothing hidden under the layers of clothes. _Goddamn that perverted bastard, why the hell was there –_

"-no pornography in his _damned_ room!" Nami spat out, trembling in rage.

There was an awkward silence on the other end of her headset. _Shit._

Luffy was the first to speak up. "…You were searching for por-"

"_Shut. Up."_ Nami bit out in furious mortification. "Don't you _dare_ finish that word, Luffy."

Zoro spoke up next, sounding baffled. "Huh? You're into that kind of-"

"_No! _God _no." _She felt ready to pull her hair out into shreds. "I was looking for evidence, you idiot!"

"Who were you trying to catch?" Franky asked, puzzled by her answer.

"Just some perverted bastard." She grumbled in reply.

Sanji immediately cut in with a gallant threat. "Who the hell is it! I'll kick his sorry ass for you, Nami-swan!"

Law began to answer but Nami shot him down mercilessly. "Say his name and I can assure you _will_ feel the wrath of a woman scorned."

"You can't always hide from a _name_, Nami-ya." Law said with an annoyed huff.

"That's the least I can do, seeing how I can't very well hide myself from _him_." She snapped back.

"If it's that bad, you should just drop the class." Law said indifferently.

"Ugh, don't give me the same thing as my idiot lab partner. If I could I would have done it by now!"

"Who is this bastard that's harassing you, Nami?" Sanji interrupted in righteous anger. "Did you tell him you're not interested?"

"I did! But he won't stop pestering me-"

"Maybe you didn't tell him hard enough?" Luffy suggested.

"What the hell would _you_ guys have done if you were me?"

"Tell him I don't like him." Luffy said nonchalantly.

"Kick him where the sun doesn't shine." Sanji ground out in brimming fury.

"Let him know it's all super but I don't swing that way." Franky said coolly.

"He'll back off if he values his life." Law said, unaffected.

"Challenge him to a sword fight." Zoro said casually.

Nami scoffed. "And if you lose?"

She could almost hear his grin behind his confident answer. "I won't."

"Idiot Marimo. You'll lose if you're up against your vamp overlord." Sanji said, snickering at him.

"Shut up you dumb blond. I'll just train harder-"

"I don't get it, wouldn't you stand to gain more from losing?" Nami asked with a smirk, causing Sanji to erupt into raucous laughter.

"Huh? Why would I gain more from losing – THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY YOU DAMN WITCH!"

There was a string of loud curses and crashing in the background following the earsplitting ringing of Zoro's angry yells.

"-see if I don't slice that shit-eating grin off that stupid face of yours-"

"-shut up, you Mossy shithead, you're probably in denial over-"

"-bet you're secretly into that Okama shit-"

"-I'll kick your sorry ass into Newkama Land myself-"

Nami sighed as she ignored the sounds of the two men trying to kill each other in the background and called for Luffy tiredly. "Where to next?"

* * *

**One hour, forty-three minutes into Operation D, Room 316**

"-my beautiful goddess, stuck in-between a-an _Okama_ and a p-p-_pervert_!" Sanji lamented, breaking out into miserable sobs all over again.

"Shut up, idiot love cook." Zoro grumbled, disgusted at his unabashed weeping.

"What's got his boxers in a rut?" Franky asked.

"The idiot just realized Hancock's room is in the middle of Bon Clay and Nami's perverted stalker." Zoro explained.

"Huh. No wonder she's always got her panties in a twist."

"Ah! This is my gramps' place!" Luffy exclaimed in elation.

"Nice place he's got." Nami said appraisingly, checking out the photos on the shelf beside the grandfather's clock. She stopped at one photo of what looked to be a fishing trip, where Garp was holding up a splendid catch and in the background Ace was hitting Luffy on his head for trying to bite into a raw trout. "Aw, you were so cute back then."

"Nice diapers, kiddo." Franky said, chuckling at another photo of Luffy scrambling around with his hands stuck in a cookie jar.

"Whose idea was it to use your underwear as flags?" Zoro asked, referring to another one where Luffy, Ace and Sabo were peeking out from over a makeshift fortress of pillows with their red, blue and yellow underwear swinging proudly in the breeze.

"Mine." Luffy answered, unembarrassed.

"Of course it was you," Nami said. She stopped and started laughing at one where Ace was obviously scowling red-faced at the camera as he stood next to his stained bed sheets. "I didn't know your brother was still a bed wetter at that age."

"Yeah, he also shit his pants once when we were waiting in line to get his picture taken with Santa. We kinda raced each other on who would be the first and he refused to go to the toilet 'cause he was sure someone would have cut in his queue."

"Seriously? He doesn't seem like a kid who believes in the white-bearded man." Nami said dubiously.

"That was Whitebeard dressed up as Santa."

Nami raised a questioning eyebrow. "Who's Whitebeard?"

"Oh, I forgot, you don't know about that. He's Professor Newgate. We used to call him Whitebeard with some of the others when we were kids. Ace doesn't call him that in public now 'cause he's still mad he left and didn't appear till only last year."

"Ah. I see." Nami said, contemplating what Luffy had told her.

Another photo caught her eye and she grinned widely. "You two should look way happier to be wearing matching pirate outfits."

"Oh, we were just fighting over who gets to be the captain and he got pissed when he lost at scissors-paper-stone three times in a row."

"Give me a minute." Nami reached for her cellphone to snap pictures of bed wetter Ace and grumpy pirate Ace.

"Is this how you never run out of blackmail information?" Zoro asked, slightly exasperated.

"I have many sources." Nami replied with a smug smile and put away her phone. "Well, that was fun. Where to next, Luffy?"

"The study room. There was this huge graduation photo of my gramps and some of the professors when they were younger."

"This I've got to see." Nami began looking for the study area.

She found it beside the bedroom and strode in to gaze at the framed photo above the desktop. Putting away the magazine she found lying face up on the floor, she let out a hum of appraisal.

"Hm, your granddad was pretty good looking back in his time."

Zoro choked on his saliva and began coughing up a lung.

"Nami-swan!" Sanji cried out in vain.

"Thanks, I'll tell him that." Luffy said merrily.

"What, I'm only stating the truth. Kizaru's not bad himself either." Nami said, causing Zoro to choke even more and cough up his second lung. Her eyes landed on the next two familiar figures and her expression rapidly darkened into a scowl. "Once a hardass, always a hardass."

Luffy spoke up, sounding confused. "Who are you talking about? Is it the guy with the afro under that hat-"

"_No! _I was referring to Akainu, not _him_."

"Hey, that woman kinda looks like a mix of you and Robin." Luffy pointed out.

"Who? Emeritus Professor Tsuru?" Franky asked.

"Yeah, that old lady with the bunned up hair who runs that laundry shop across the street." Luffy said. "She looks a bit like you Nami, but fiercer and with Robin's old hairstyle."

"Um, thanks?" Nami replied. She addressed Zoro next when he stopped his coughing fit. "You done, Zoro? I see nothing wrong with what I said before."

Zoro snorted. "I'm telling Usopp you thought Luffy's grandfather was hot."

"Go ahead, even Luffy agrees with me." She said, rolling her eyes at his childish remark.

Sanji whined again in dismayed protest. "Nami-swan!"

"What? They used to be young too and we're all gonna grow old and wrinkled one day. Even Sengoku looked pretty hip back then."

Both Zoro and Sanji choked simultaneously and went into another coughing fest.

"But seriously though, Kizaru?" Franky said, slightly disturbed.

"Oh, sorry Franky, I forgot you have him in your class on lasers." Nami said, laughing a little. Scanning the photo one last time, Nami turned to leave. "Come on guys, just two more rooms to go!"

* * *

**One hour, forty-nine minutes into Operation D, Room 318**

"I'm starting to think you've got a thing for old men." Zoro stated calmly. In the background, Sanji let out another pitiful wail.

"Oh shut up, Zoro," Nami said, scowling as she put down the photo of Whitebeard at the prime of his youth. "What's wrong with what I said?"

"Nothing, except you all but called Whitebeard a hunk and said you'd have dated him if you were older," Zoro said. "Hey Law, what's that term for attraction to old people again?"

"Gerontophillia," Law replied.

"Shut up Law, I do _not_ have Gerontophillia."

"You're right. It's actually Alphamegamia, since it's elderly men you're attracted to in this case." He said, irritating her further.

"I do _not_ have a sexual fetish for old men. I was only stating a fact. I'm pretty sure you guys would find Kokoro and Dr Kureha attractive back in their days-" She halted when everyone except Law and Luffy started choking and groaning at the same time. "_What?_ What did I say now?"

Zoro stopped dry heaving and sighed heavily. "Nothing, except for the fact that you just called Kokoro and Kureha _attractive_."

"So? Even Shakky looks good for her age."

"Nami…you have a fetish for my uncle's wife?" Luffy asked, sounding aghast.

"_What the hell,_ Luffy!" Nami snapped, feeling her face flame red in indignation. "I do _not_ have a fetish for Professor Rayleigh's wife!"

"Oh, alright then."

Nami groaned into the palm of her hand. "Just forget everything I said. Where's the damned magazine?"

"It's next to his heart rate monitoring machine."

"His what?" Nami asked, standing still.

"Crap, you weren't supposed to know that. Um…Whitebeard's health isn't good so he needs that machine as part of his daily health checkups. He didn't want anyone knowing but Ace and I found out anyway."

"I see." Nami said in a quiet voice as she stared down at the many bottles of medication on a shelf next to an IV. "Is it bad?" She asked, dreading the answer.

"…I don't know." Luffy said in a sullen tone.

She picked up the magazine from the large armchair and spared one last glance at the rows of prescriptions. So far, she didn't have any of Professor Newgate's classes until next year, but from what she had gleaned from Ace about him, he seemed to be well loved by most of his students and regarded as a father figure by them.

"Ok, I'm done. Last room to go."

* * *

**One hour, fifty-four minutes into Operation D, Room 319**

"Are you sure someone lives here? 'Cause it really looks like a hotel room, I've yet to see anything _personal _at all. How the hell did you manage to hide that magazine in this neat freak of a room?" Nami grumbled, at her wit's end as she bent over to peer under the immaculate sofa covers.

"I don't know, I find it easier to remember and find things when they're in a mess." Luffy said.

Nami stopped at a shelf full of books on criminal law and other international statutes. "This guy probably has OCD, who the hell arranges their_ own books_ in the Dewey Decimal System?"

"Maybe it's easier for him to find them that way?" Franky said.

Nami checked the back of the bookshelf. "What, don't tell me you do that, Franky."

"Heck no, I'm just saying. I prefer mine in the Library of Congress Classification."

"Huh, Robin uses that too." Nami said offhandedly as she strode into the kitchen.

"Does this guy even cook?" She eyed the stainless stove and gleaming tabletop. "What kind of person doesn't even have magnets on his fridge."

Law spoke up, sounding amused. "And how does having magnets on a fridge factor into a person's life?"

Nami scoffed as she flipped open the shelves to find boxes of oat and bran cereal. "Well, for one, you can tell a lot about a person by what they tack to their fridge. Some people like to display souvenirs from their trips, shopping lists, personal reminders, their favourite objects, photos, hell, even joke magnets from friends and unwanted gift ones. Most of the time, you can find stickers on them too if there aren't any magnets. This guy's fridge is a blank page from his boring life of bland cornflakes and drink bottles arranged _in order of height_."

"I suppose you'd draw a similar analogy with my fridge." Law said dryly.

Nami paused as she peered into the pristine interior of the bathroom. "Uh, no. You're not the same."

"Meaning?"

"You're a closet psychopath." She said, entering the study room next. "I bet there's a secret compartment leading to an ice tray full of crushed hearts."

"Who said I like to crush them?" Law drawled tauntingly, making her hair stand on end.

"Ew, you can leave your sick fantasies to yourself." Nami said, scrunching up her nose in disgust. "Ok, this is really weird. There's no dirt on this guy, not even a single speck!" She tugged at the drawers only to find them locked.

"You do know you're supposed to be looking for the magazine and not blackmail material, right?" Zoro said in a wry tone.

"_Yes_, Zoro, I am well aware of that," Nami said. "But _come on_, you think he'd have a family portrait or personal photo or something, anything _personal_."

"Sounds like a real private fellow you've got there." Franky said.

"Or a real boring one with no life…you got anything yet, Luffy?" Nami asked, feeling perplexed at her fruitless search.

"Um…sorry, I've got nothing. Maybe it's in his bedroom?" Luffy suggested.

With an answering groan, Nami stalked over to the room next door. One look around it and she _still_ couldn't see anything of interest. "Seriously, something is _wrong_ with this guy. You'd think he's hiding a body in the closet."

"I checked, there isn't one." Luffy added.

Opening the closet doors, she was met with an eyeful of neatly pressed suits and perfectly lined up and folded shirts. "This guy's a walking robot," she declared with a huff of frustration.

"Why not a cyborg?" Luffy asked, curious.

"Because a cyborg is essentially still human and has a heart," Nami stated evenly. "This guy here is a walking, soulless zombie."

"So he's a zombie robot?" Luffy asked, confused but nonetheless excited over the thought.

"Uh, yeah…that's one way of putting it." Nami paused and shut the closet. "Maybe he really is hiding a body…if you were a murderer, where would you hide yours, Law?"

Law scoffed in irritation. "Should I even ask _why_ you are asking _me_ this?"

"It's a rhetorical question, no need to get all defensive. It's not like you've anything to hide, unless you-"

"There would've been no need to hide anything that has been disposed of cleanly."

Nami paused from where she stood rummaging through the chest of drawers. "Are you speaking from experience or-"

"Next question."

"_Fine._ Zoro, where would you hide a human body?" Nami said, scowling deeply.

"Huh? Why would I want to do that?" Zoro asked, sounding flummoxed at being her next victim.

"Just answer the damned question. Imagine you've sliced up the body of your worst enemy."

"_You shitty Marimo!_ Why did you look at _me_ when she asked you that!" Sanji's voice burst out angrily.

"Who the hell wants to look at your ugly face! And I wasn't even looking at you!"

"You can't lie to save your shitty hair! You were clearly gloating at the thought of slicing me up-"

"Hell, I'm starting to agree with you on that one, you paranoid dickhead!"

"God, can the two of you shut up already, I can't hear anything with you two fighting!" Nami yelled into the receiver as she bent over to check under the bed.

She blinked at the sight of a pink magazine. "Oh wait, Luffy, I found it."

Frowning at the loud sounds of two people yelling and fighting worse than ever, she would have missed the main door slamming shut if not for her sharp hearing.

She froze for a split second before diving under the bed in frenzied panic. _This was not happening. He wasn't supposed to be back for another hour, damn it!_

The loud sounds of hurled vulgarities, tables and chairs were still audible even as she unplugged one earpiece to test the room's stillness. The footsteps were currently headed towards the kitchen.

She tried to quell her rapidly mounting fear. "_Luffy!" _She hissed into the receiver in sheer desperation. "Luffy, can you hear me!"

"What? Nami? Did you call me?" He shouted over the mess. She had never been more grateful to hear his voice.

"Yes, Luffy! I've got the magazine but he's back, could you get Franky to turn down the speaker volume on your side? I can still hear everything from mine."

"He's busy trying to pry apart Zoro and Sanji together with Law. It's ok, I can do that! Who did you say was back?"

_The footsteps were turning towards the goddamned bedroom._

"_Shit! Luffy, do it now!" _She whispered harshly into the receiver, trying to figure out how to power down the device in the darkness under the bed. "_He's_ back!"

"No, Luffy, that button's for-" Franky yelled out but it was too late.

"YOU MEAN THE ROBOT ZOMBIE GUY? THE BORING PERSON WITH NO LIFE?"

"-YOU GO BECOME AN OKAMA IT'LL SUIT YOU JUST FINE!"

"OH YOU'D JUST LOVE TO GO THERE WOULDN'T YOU-"

There was a loud click and a burst of static before everything went deadly silent as she stared at the pair of shoes _standing at the foot of the bed._

_Please be someone unimportant. Pleasepleasepleaseplease-_

She could feel her heart beating frantically at her ribcage trying desperately to claw its way out. She was dying bit by bit as the person slowly bent his head down.

_Please kill me now. Pleasepleaseplease-_

Her maddened praying died along with the remains of her soul as she found herself face to face with none other than –

Akainu himself.

"I am so dead."

* * *

**Water Seven Building, Classroom 3A**

"What the hell just happened?" Zoro asked, stopping mid-slice at Sanji's torso.

Sanji pulled back his aimed kick at Zoro's face and stared at the sight of a grim faced Franky lying sprawled on the floor with the power cable to the machine in one hand.

Luffy blinked at Law, who was looking equally confounded.

"Everything went loud and then Franky unplugged the computer – why do you look so pale, Franky?" Luffy asked.

Franky sighed as he slumped back down into his chair. "Nami probably got caught."

"WHAT!" Zoro, Sanji and Luffy all yelled together in harmony. Even Law appeared shocked by the announcement.

"How the _hell_ did that happen?" Zoro asked, bewildered.

"The guy returned and she didn't hear him-"

Sanji glared at Zoro accusingly. "_What!"_ Zoro snapped. "_I_ wasn't the one who started the damned fight!"

"Like _hell_ you didn't you idiot shithead!" Sanji said, fuming. Frowning, he looked to Franky in confusion. "Wait, how did he know if she had hidden herself or-"

"Luffy pressed the wrong button and set the volume on maximum speaker mode." Franky replied tiredly.

They all turned to stare at Luffy, who began squirming under their heated gaze. "Sorry, it was an accident."

"_Nami_ should be the one you ought to apologize to." Sanji ground out, glaring daggers at him.

"Shit. Where and who do you think has got her now?" Zoro asked.

"She says she's in the dean's office. She got caught by Akainu." Law announced and raised an eyebrow when all eyes turned on him next.

"I messaged her." He said simply.

"Well, ask her how she is!" Sanji said impatiently.

Ignoring him, Law began typing another message to Nami.

**Your love cook demands to know if you're still in one piece.**

**- T. Law**

They all waited a few seconds until another silent buzz came from Law's cellphone.

"What did she say?" Luffy asked, craning his neck to try to read Nami's reply.

"Is she alright?" Sanji exclaimed in worry.

**I'm still alive in the dean's office, no thanks to you guys. Sengoku's coming over soon. I'm lucky Akainu bought into my idea of a prank.**

**Tell Luffy he'll suffer worse once I get my hands on him.**

**- Nami**

"She's fine. She's currently in the dean's office waiting for Sengoku. Akainu bought into her lie." Law said.

"Strawhat-ya," he turned to address the boy. "Nami-ya sends her regards to you."

Luffy visibly brightened up. "Oh, tell her I said thanks."

"What do you mean she lied to Akainu? How'd she manage to escape _that_?" Zoro asked, puzzled.

**Swordsman-ya is curious on how you managed to escape death. I sent Strawhat-ya your regards.**

**I take it our study session is postponed?**

**- T. Law**

The phone buzzed again after a moment of tensed waiting.

**You won't believe what I told him. I could hang myself for it. Lucky for me, he didn't notice the headset or camera. He found the magazines and the wireless control so I told him I was one of Ivankov's free gender rights advocating groupies and this was a prank/advertising gone wrong. You should have seen the look on his face. He looked at me like I had just admitted I was a cross-dressing transvestite.**

**Tell Luffy he owes me big time. Big as in money he'll never be able to pay me back not even in hell notes after I'm long dead. **

**And I don't remember agreeing to this week's session anyway.**

**- Nami**

Law finished reading with an amused chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Luffy asked.

"I take it she's doing alright then?" Franky asked.

"Only the magazines and wireless control were discovered. She managed to dupe Akainu into thinking she's one of Ivankov's fan boys." Law stated.

Sanji began to wail in misery. "My poor Nami-swan! They think she's a-a-an_ Okama!"_

"Better that than getting caught for what she was actually doing." Zoro said.

"Nami's an Okama?" Luffy asked, curious.

"She also instructed you to pay her back in hell notes once she's back from the dead."

"Really? Alright then!"

Tuning out the noisy sobs of Sanji and Luffy's excited ramblings on Nami's new status as one of Ivankov's fan club members, Law went back to typing out a reply.

**If you regret it this much, you should never have gone through with it in the first place knowing the consequences.**

**Strawhat-ya sends his regards.**

**Skip next week's session and your _favourite professor_ will receive word of your apparent Gerontophillia.**

**- T. Law**

Her reply was lightning fast.

**Oh shut it. I don't regret it one bit. I only did it because Luffy's an idiot and I don't want him to get expelled on my conscience. **

**Anyway, he's my friend so I would have helped him regardless. He wouldn't be able to survive if I didn't bail him out so many idiotic times.**

**Bastard, you wouldn't dare. I think I hear Sengoku arguing with Ivankov outside. I'll let you guys know what happens later, no thanks to Luffy for that.**

**- Nami**

"What did she say this time?" Luffy asked.

Law put away his phone with a devious smirk. "Nothing much. She says you're welcome to her help anytime in future."

"Cool, that's nice of her. Tell her thanks for me!" Luffy said, beaming widely at Law's not so contradictory words.

* * *

**Marineford Central Building, Dean's Office**

If she had once thought Akainu hated everyone equally, it was almost certain she was now fast track on the way to becoming juvenile delinquent number one on his most wanted list. What made it worse was that the look he had shot her wasn't so much terrifyingly displeased as it was disgusted. It made her want to shrivel up in a pile of ashes and die.

The even more mortifying aspect was Ivankov's radiant grin when he congratulated her on her brave demonstrations in the name of sexual freedom and true Okama-ship. She couldn't look at him straight without seeing that _thing _flitting past her mind's eye. He had ensured her that her history making antics wouldn't go down forgotten.

She gulped as she looked up at Headmaster Sengoku, who was currently gazing down at her in awkward silence, Akainu and Ivankov standing off to his side.

He cleared his throat and began to speak. "Normally, I would have expected someone of Monkey D. Luffy's caliber to be doing such…_things_. And certainly not you, Nami." He paused and glanced over at Akainu's unyielding rigidity.

"As this is your first time committing a major...prank such as this, and Ivankov tells me it's _misguided advertising_ on your part, I'll let you off on one count of warning. If you are ever caught breaking in and trying to smuggle those…magazines into the professors' residences again, you will be placed under Doflamingo to learn the proper ethics pertaining to marketing and advertising."

Something eerily familiar about the name struck a chord inside her and she nodded vigorously. Satisfied with her meekness, Sengoku allowed her to leave with a hasty half-bow.

Feeling the pressure subside from her frazzled nerves, Nami quickly typed up a message to send to Franky.

**Hey Franky,**

**Thanks to your super incognito headset, they thought the control was some prank device that randomly spits out vulgarities so I got off on one strike of misguided misconduct. Sengoku threatened me with someone called Doflamingo, has anyone had him before?**

**- Nami**

She was halfway out the building when her phone buzzed ominously.

**Yo Nami,**

**You got off lucky, that guy's one sick bastard. Torao guy says he's worse than Crocodile and I tell ya' I can vouch for that. Luffy wants to know if you've still got them magazines. **

**- Franky**

She had no wish to entertain the thought of anyone being worse than Crocodile, let alone Arlong, Akainu or Buggy. Still, it couldn't be worse than _that perverted bastard._

**That bad, huh? Well, I'm glad to still be alive in one piece for now. Tell Luffy I saved a copy for him courtesy of Ivankov. **

**Don't tell Law I escaped detention. I'll return your device tomorrow.**

**- Nami**

Her phone buzzed with his quick reply and she couldn't help but grin at what he had typed back.

** Told you the spy set was worth it. Your secret's safe with me.**

**If you're heading over to Robin's, tell her I said hi.**

**- Franky**

She promptly hit the reply button with a mischievous smirk.

**Thanks Franky!**

**I'll tell her she had you at hello. ;)**

**- Nami**

* * *

**End Note:**

I'm so sorry there's not much Law in this one! Don't kill me, kill Zoro and Sanji instead, those two wouldn't stop fighting and stole most of the dialogue. I never knew Zoro could be so fun to write, though. I hope I got Franky's personal brand of whackiness and his scholar smart self balanced right.

I know this is more on nakamaship and a side story, but hey, I need them interacting so the following chapters make sense, Luffy can vouch for me on that. The other crew members will appear soon and the actual story will start progressing next chapter.


	5. Curiosity Killed the Cat

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but three numb toes. The song 'You Are My Sunshine' belongs to Johnny Cash (love the man in black).

* * *

Things rapidly quieted down over the next couple of weeks, with everyone's assignments and projects stretching out along the duration of their classes.

Robin in particular, was getting increasingly busy ever since taking up a major project in her Masters in World History. From what she had told him, she was nearing a breakthrough with some of her professors and fellow historians, one that resulted in many exciting yet exhausting nights deep in the confines of the college labs which cut into their usual Friday night dates.

She had always made it a point to keep him updated ahead of time when it came to her hectic schedules, hence he didn't mind so much whenever she cancelled on him with a polite message. Besides, she had in return cordially accepted his reasons in the past, so they usually resumed their next date from wherever they had left off.

"How are your classes coming along?" Robin asked with a light smile from where she sat opposite him in the restaurant they had booked into earlier.

"Neuroscience, human musculoskeletal and cardiovascular systems. It's the same as always," He paused for a moment before adding wryly. "Professor Hogback has taken to in-class post mortem examinations."

Robin chuckled slightly. "That sounds fascinating, and what have you examined so far?"

"Monkeys, wild boars, human cadavers…mostly mammals," he said, vaguely entertained by the next memory. "He brought in a reindeer last week."

Robin's eyes widened a fraction. "Oh my…I suppose Chopper did not take well to that?"

A sadistic grin slowly materialized on Law's face as he recalled the image of Chopper desperately trying to hide his quaking form behind him. "He almost fainted several times and he finally did towards the end when Professor Hogback announced that a live specimen for a vivisection would be greatly appreciated."

"I can see why he fainted," Robin said, amused "He did look as if he had the blood drained out of him last week."

Law nodded in agreement. "Indeed, he did."

A brief silence fell over them before Robin spoke up again.

"And how was your Psychology study session with Nami the week before?" She asked with a curious smile.

Law quirked an eyebrow at her question. "It was postponed due to her getting caught by Akainu and landing herself in detention."

He grew the slightest bit confused when Robin giggled at his words, but did not prod further when she gave a vague smile and shook her head that it was nothing.

When she didn't ask him anything else, they lapsed into another interval of silence, during which she briefly checked her cellphone's messages. Scrolling through it, a weary, restless look flitted across her features for a flash of a second before settling back into her usual mask of serenity.

"Tough progress with your project?" He asked.

She appeared lost in thought for a moment with a faraway look in her eyes before answering him.

"There have been some…unforeseen circumstances...It is rather complicated." She said lightly, finishing with one of her famous obscure smiles that he had come to recognize as her way of closing off unsavory topics.

He nodded in response, heeding her wish and not pursuing the matter any further.

"So, I've heard from Nami about Luffy's misadventure." Robin said, smoothly changing the subject.

"You mean her spy operation gone wrong?" Law asked with a smirk.

She was about to reply when her phone rang urgently, interrupting their conversation.

"I'm sorry, do you mind if I…?" Robin asked, picking up her phone. He nodded nonchalantly and she pressed the answer button.

"Hi," she spoke into the receiver. "Yes, Professor Clover?"

He watched as her initial frown gradually transformed into surprise and then something close to elation.

"Yes, I'll be there in a…Sorry, hold on for a second-" She broke off to glance at Law. "I'm so sorry, Trafalgar-san, but I'm needed back at the lab, do you mind if we take a rain check?"

"It's fine if you need to go and we haven't ordered anything yet." He said with a shrug. They had only arrived barely fifteen minutes ago.

"Thanks for your understanding, Traffy-san, I'll let you know when I'm free next week." She said and shot him an apologetic smile before leaving in quick strides.

Figuring he might as well not let this be a wasted trip, Law settled into ordering his usual dinner and exited the restaurant almost an hour later.

He was deliberating whether he should head back home or give Bepo a call to check their activities for Friday night, when someone's green haired head caught his eye in the distance.

"Zoro-ya," he called out as he neared. The swordsman appeared somewhat surprised to see him.

"Law," he greeted in return. "Didn't think I'd see you around this early, I thought you're usually out with Robin on Friday evenings?"

"She had to rush back for her project after a phone call from her professor." He explained.

"That busy, huh? Well, you got anything on now? I'm heading over to the pub, you can join me if you want." Zoro offered with a light shrug.

Law quickly weighed his options in his head. Knowing Bepo and the gang's antics, if Nami or god forbid Luffy, was around, there was no telling what kind of stunt they would pull on him or force him into. "Same pub as usual?"

"I was actually thinking to try out this new one across the street somewhere... " Zoro trailed off with a frown as he looked up and down the streets. "Wait. I could have sworn Nami said it was around here somewhere... "

"Do you have the address? " Law asked.

"Oh yeah, it's this one." Zoro replied, reaching into his pocket to pull out a note in what Law recognized as Nami's neat handwriting.

_Shakky's Bar, Sabaody Street_, Law read, noting the owner's name. He hadn't known Professor Rayleigh's wife had opened a bar nearby.

Passing the note back to Zoro, Law began leading the two of them towards the proposed place for their usual drinking sessions.

They reached the cozy little shop house in about fifteen minutes, being relatively far off track from the venue. The place had an understated, mellow atmosphere, and was illuminated by dim chandelier lights and tall scented candles that lent a hint of ocean breeze to the cool night air. It was secluded enough away from the jostling night crowds yet not lacking its own peculiar brand of nightlife tucked away in a small alley.

"Good evening, Zoro," Shakky greeted him from behind the bar counter wiping down a wine glass. "I see you've brought a friend, could I get you two anything?"

"A couple of your house beers please, with refills on the side." Zoro ordered as they settled into a corner table.

Shakky brought over their drinks in tall beer glasses filled to the brim with cold amber fluid. "There you go," She said, depositing each glass in front of them. "These are on the house."

"Really?" Zoro asked in astonishment, staring at his frothing glass.

Shakky smiled and gestured towards them. "Treat it as a welcoming gift to another of Nami's friends."

Zoro's face turned even more suspicious. "She didn't put you up to anything, did she?" He asked, scrutinizing his beer with narrowed eyes as if it had grown a thousand dollar price tag.

Shakky regarded him with an amused look. "As a matter of fact, she did, but not what you're thinking. She helps out sometimes on the weekends and brings in good customers, it's my way of returning a favour."

"Ah. I see." Zoro said, satisfied with the answer. He swiftly brought up the beer to his lips and knocked back a good quarter of it. Settling it back on the table, he turned to Shakky with a broad grin. "That's good stuff you've got there. Tell Nami thanks for me."

Law followed suit in taking a swallow of the beer. It had a rich aroma and an almost buttery taste as it slid down his throat. "It is good," he agreed. "Give Nami-ya my thanks as well."

Nodding with a smile, Shakky left them to greet the next crowd of people arriving at the front door. The pub was gradually filling up as the night darkened, yet it never lost its private, tranquil ambience with the flow of soft indie music in the background and warmly glowing candlelight. It was a pleasant change and stood out in its subtlety against the noisy, open space pubs and flashy clubs further in town. Observing the flow of patrons, Law noted that Shakky appeared to be familiar with most of her customers and knew them on a personal level. It was the kind of place one could grow used to as their private sanctuary and second home.

"Not heading back to join Bepo and the rest?" Zoro asked, reclining in his seat.

"No," Law replied. "I thought about it but decided not to."

Zoro raised a questioning eyebrow. "Why not? I thought you were into Friday Game Night, since it's mostly at your house."

"Is that what they're calling it now?" Law remarked dryly. "Their idea of fun usually ends up with Nami-ya's pockets getting significantly heavier, or it mostly leads to situations I'd rather not get caught in."

"Nah, last week was Movie Night, and the week before was Poker Night I think, they usually just call it Friday Night anyway. You mean you've never been to any of them before?" Zoro asked, curious.

"It only started last semester when Nami-ya grew closer to Bepo." Law answered offhandedly. He could still recall precisely the day she had stood outside his door waving cheerfully to a delighted Bepo seconds before he had left for his first few dates with Robin. It wasn't hard to remember coming home to the sight of his living room turned upside down in a mess with what looked to be streamers everywhere, cream cheese frosting on the couch and window panes, and every single chair missing. He had later discovered them stacked up in a teetering pile in the backyard with Shachi lying half naked on the rooftop. The others, including Franky and Sanji, were all out cold on the floor of his study room. All except the sneaky redhead herself and the thorn in his side that was Monkey D. Luffy, which he later discovered had been the mastermind behind the Chair Toppler Game.

Zoro snorted at Law's words. "I told her not to invite Luffy."

Law looked at him questioningly. "You mean you weren't there?"

"No, I wasn't. Chopper asked me to accompany him on his solo consultation with Hogback that day," Zoro replied. He paused for a moment, scrunching up his face in confusion. "Come to think of it, why was he all pale last Tuesday?"

"Professor Hogback brought in a dead reindeer as part of our dissection class." Law said, holding back a grin.

"What!" Zoro's eyes bugged out. "No wonder he looked like he was gonna faint."

"He did," Law continued casually. "Right after Hogback said it would be nice to have a live one as practice next."

Zoro simply stared at him, speechless for a few seconds. "Huh, he said that? I thought he was acting strange. He behaves the same on Tuesdays the way Nami does on Fridays."

Musing in thought for a while, Zoro continued after taking a swig of his beer. "I can see why Chopper would dread Tuesdays, but from what I've heard, that professor of hers seems a pretty laid back guy, yet she constantly makes him out to be as bad as Ivankov…wonder what's up with that?"

"I have no idea," Law replied dryly. "The very mention of his name triggers her panic system as much as Hogback's does to Tony-ya."

Zoro snorted in response. "Tell me about it. The witch threatened to raise my debts after I accidentally said his name in front of her. How'd you escape owing her money anyway?"

"Reverse blackmail and feigned ignorance. She knows it doesn't work on me." Law stated. He hesitated for a moment, glowering at a bad memory. "Sometimes she prefers to use force."

Zoro grimaced at the implication. "Could be worse, I suppose. It's a miracle she hasn't killed Luffy yet for that failed mission of hers."

"I wouldn't put it past her, there's no telling what Strawhat-ya will come up with next." Law said.

The two of them sat in mutual contemplation imagining the horrors of Luffy's future mishaps to the backdrop of the live band and the bright chattering of its surrounding crowd. With each deepening hour of the night, they found themselves immersed in beer refills and caught up in the familiar flow of conversations surrounding their friends and their daily lives.

Knocking back his ninth beer with a hum of satisfaction, Zoro continued on his recap of his failed Friday Movie Night at Law's house last semester.

"-They told me it was horror night, but they so kindly _forgot_ to mention it was _vampire_ horror night, and that they had on all the old Dracula movies and that new sparkly chick flick," Zoro said with a scowl. "I should have known the idiot love cook would choose a girly film and the witch would choose _that_ theme out of all the others. The bastard wouldn't stop badgering me with those damned jokes ever since, not to mention he was crying nonstop during that gay-ass movie going on and on about Robin."

Law huffed in amusement at Zoro's rant. "That would perhaps be the fourth Friday Night?"

"Yeah, I think so, Luffy, Brook and Franky were there too." Zoro replied. "They tried to get the rest to join in for that one, but Usopp and Chopper chickened out at the mentioning of horror."

"It was also the fourth chair incident." Law stated flatly, remembering the familiar visage.

"Ah, Luffy came up with that one and it kind of took off from there," Zoro said. "He wanted to find out how many chairs it took to climb up on the roof and then he turned it into a stacking game."

"Is that so?" Law asked, amused. "He told me the first time they did it was to create a throne grand enough for a vampire overlord."

Zoro almost spat out his mouthful of beer at Law's face. "_He told you what! _So they knew about the movie all along?"

"Nami-ya let him and Blackleg-ya in on her little joke."

Zoro seethed. "So that's how it is, then. That _witch_. I should have known she wouldn't be so generous as to offer free sake over at your place that night."

"The free sake was probably paid for with her winnings from the previous week's Poker Night."

"It's all clear to me now." Peering down at his half empty glass of beer, Zoro scoffed in sardonic amusement. "Well, I suppose I should take whatever compensation I can get."

"You said Nami-ya told you about this place?" Law asked.

"Yeah, I was telling her how her insane debts would make anyone broke within seconds and she told me to try out this place for more affordable drinks. She may be a witch, but she's not that bad for one sometimes." Zoro said before shooting Law a cautionary glance. "Don't tell her I said that."

Law replied with a smirk. "I won't."

"I was going to ask Franky to come along but he's been busy with his research on historical warships and coming up with new secret military weapon blueprints or something like that," Zoro said. "I figured you'd be out with Robin tonight."

"The ancient historical ruins of the warship Pluton?" Law asked with a raised eyebrow.

Zoro shot him a mildly surprised look. "Yeah, that's the one, how'd you know?"

"Robin's been working on the missing gap in world history, I heard her speak of it once." Law explained.

"Ah, I see. Well, the sooner they find out the better, Luffy's been listening to Usopp's conspiracy theories and I'm starting to get sick of him going on about how the missing gap is due to secret government politics and a mass shortage of meat. Don't even ask about the second one."

"I won't."

Downing the last of his beer, Zoro called for another refill and the two guys continued on shooting the breeze, blissfully unaware that several streets away in the college labs, two people were currently so near yet so far from reaching their desperately anticipated breakthrough.

* * *

Buried within the treacherous terrains of her history notes and tomes on ancient world history was not the best place to be for Robin's sanity. For the few times in her life, her desk and the surrounding floor were cluttered in a mess comparable to Luffy's room. Sighing deeply, she held up a trembling hand to her head as she struggled valiantly to concentrate on the journal before her.

It was no use. The words were beginning to swim in her vision together with her pounding headache as she silently sank onto her table in an effort not to break down. She was so close, so close,yet _why wasn't anything making any sense?_

She couldn't bear seeing that look on her professor's face again, the one that aged him well beyond his years, and his smile which hid the tired, broken man beneath.

Her mother had come so close to it in the past only to hit a dead end. She wanted, _needed_ to do this for her, and for herself.

What if she ended up like her mother, what if this was another wild goose chase and all their years of bloodstained work, years of salvaging what was lost and thought to never be unearthed again, all amounted to nothing in the end? She refused to give up now, but the unending obstacles and running towards a bleak goal only to have the doors slam shut in their faces at the last minute were causing her shoulders to quake under their immense pressure.

She was a sea of sunken ships beneath her frightfully calm exterior and she grasped desperately, frantically at any lifeline she could hold onto, anything at all –

A light, lilting melody was coming from outside her lab. Someone was whistling along the corridors.

Frowning, Robin stood up and strode over to the open entrance of her lab, coming to a standstill when she found herself staring at Franky, who raised his brows at her watery-eyed state, pausing mid-whistle to the tune of 'You Are My Sunshine'.

An awkward silence ensued before he broke it with a heartfelt grin. "Hey."

"Hey," she answered back with a fragile smile of her own.

"Didn't think you'd be right next door to my lab," Franky said, rubbing the back of his neck in a slightly nervous manner. "Want to go grab a coffee? You look like you could use one."

"Yeah," She said, nodding slowly with a widening smile that trembled a little at the edges. "Coffee sounds great."

They arrived at the vending machine shortly after and Franky picked up the two iced mochas, cracked one open and passed it to Robin.

"Thanks." She said, taking a sip out of hers.

He cracked open his and took one big swallow. "Whew, I needed that. I would have fallen asleep if I'd stayed up any longer in that hellhole of blueprints and notes."

Robin smiled at him. "How are you coming along in your research?"

Franky gestured to himself with an amused quirk to his lips. "Me? I'm nowhere near finishing, not even halfway through. You should see the size of my paper stacks. It's enough to create a maze for Luffy to run around in and more, though I'm sure it's nothing compared to yours."

Robin chuckled lightly as they continued on their way back to the labs. "I wouldn't be so sure, you'd have to see mine to compare."

"Oh, I know you," he said, wagging a finger at her face. "I'd bet a thousand with Nami on that any old day."

"You would be putting yourself up for a risk then." Robin teased. She faltered in her steps as they neared her lab entrance. "It's…a bit of a mess at the moment, if you don't mind…It's really nothing much to look at anyway."

Franky entered the room before she could stop him and they stood in silence as he stared down at the piles and upended piles of books and notes strewn all over the room. It wasn't the first time he'd seen her lab in a mess, but this was by far one of the worst.

Robin bit her lip, picking up a few books from the desk in a miserable effort to arrange them. "I'm sorry, it really is-"

"A mess," Franky finished for her, staring in morbid awe at his surroundings. "Yeah, you weren't exaggerating when you said so earlier."

He turned to look at her with a joking smile. "At least I'm lucky Nami wasn't around – hey, you okay?" He paused, lowering his voice in concern at her painfully calm face.

Robin took a few deep breaths to visibly compose herself. "Yes. Yes, I am fine, thanks for-"

Franky snorted rudely. "Like hell you are. You hit a snag in the road again, didn't you?" He sighed and reached out to gently take the books out of her fumbling hands. "Hey, it's okay. You might hit a dead end on this road but when you turn back you know where not to go next, that's one kind of progress too, and besides, no one can keep running forever. Heck, not even Luffy can reach a buffet at the other end of the world if you tied him up and dumped him into the sea, guy cant even swim to save his life, much less a floating stack of beef burgers."

She stared at him for a few seconds, stunned, before bending over slightly with shaking shoulders at what he had said.

"Whoa, whoa – sorry, are you – was it something I-" He broke off from his flustered stammering at the laughter in her eyes.

"No – it's ok, don't mind me," she said, wiping quickly at her eyes in receding chuckles. "I'm just-"

He waited patiently until she calmed down and shot him her first genuine smile that day.

"I'm sorry, I guess I was carried away by the image you painted of Luffy," she said, her eyes alit with amusement. "And by my work as well…" She hesitated to peer down at the drowning seas of her notes.

Franky's face set in a grim, determined expression as he looked from the wretched state of her notes to her person. "Are you looking at all of that for now?" He asked, gesturing towards the papers.

"No, I-" she broke off, concentrating on the smaller pile on her desk. "I'm mainly using those for the time being."

"Good," Franky nodded. "Because you, my dear, are moving over to my lab next door."

Robin stared at him with wide eyes. "What-"

He cut off her feeble protests. "No buts, this is clearly no place for anyone to survive in and if you pardon my boasting, my place is better and I believe it still has room leftover for the two of us and our notes. Plus, I've got the music player on, a computer to fight off the insanity, and Sanji's homemade devil's food cake. What more could you ask for?" He finished, shooting her a broad grin.

She chuckled once more, nodding her head in agreement, and they began packing up the towering stacks of books on her desk and shifting them over to his den.

Once the last of her books were transferred, they settled into the warmly lit interior of Franky's lab to the background of softly playing country music. Apart from the open box of sinful looking cake and widescreen computer, he had brought in a tall lava lamp, which enveloped the room in an uplifting honey yellow glow.

They exchanged pointers and notes in the sanctuary of the room, taking turns to help each other out whenever they encountered a mind block in their research. As the hour hand of the clock on the wall steadily made its way late into the night, Robin's eyes began to grow tired and droop on their own accord.

"I say it's time for a break," Franky announced, noting the darkening bags under her eyes. "It's no use staring at it if nothing goes through our heads."

Robin looked up at him from her book with a tired nod, suppressing a yawn. "That makes sense."

Franky chuckled at her slightly dazed expression. "Listen to yourself, any longer and you'd probably be brain dead by then." He turned to the computer and started pulling up a list of bookmarked videos.

"What are you doing?" Robin asked, curious. She rolled her chair over next to his and stared, intrigued at the loading YouTube screen.

He shot her a smile from over his shoulder. "I usually look at comedy videos and other entertainment clips to keep myself awake or when my brain turns renegade on me. You should try it too, it works like a charm most of the time."

"Really? How so?" Robin asked, looking more alert at the sound of his proposed idea.

"Just watch and laugh," was all he said to her.

And so she did.

Thirty minutes later, they found themselves still cracking up over the mention of certain jokes. They had taken to adding in some of their own in between moments of laughing.

"I'm telling you, if Luffy could swim, I wouldn't put it past him to reach the buffet at the other end of the world, sharks and crocodiles be damned." Franky said, grinning.

"And what makes you think he won't be distracted by other things along the way?" Robin added, smiling in thought. "There could be other food and dangers that would definitely sidetrack him in his mission."

"Okay, let me change it up a bit, I wouldn't put it past him if there was an apocalypse and the only food available was at the other end of the earth." Franky said smugly.

"Oh, is that so?" Robin said, eyes twinkling in mirth. "It's come to 'around the world in 80 days' in the case of a food apocalypse now, has it? But you forgot to mention what kind of apocalyptic dangers we are looking at. Do you think he'd prefer flesh eating zombie bunnies or flying vampire ones?"

Franky cocked an amused eyebrow at her question. "Rabid bunnies that repopulate infinitely to take over the world? I like the way you think, woman, though I'd put my money on him taking down anything from a flock of soul sucking flamingos to your demonic bunnies anytime. I mean, this is Luffy we're talking about, once a guy like him is dead set on a goal, he'll plow through hell and high heaven to reach it."

Robin nodded, conceding her case. "How about Sanji then? Do you think he'll do the same if there was an apocalypse and the last woman on earth is on some remote island not known to Man?"

Franky grinned deviously. "He won't if that last woman on earth turns out to be an Okama dressed in drag. Unless, he doesn't know it until he's there or he doesn't mind of course…"

They chuckled at the thought of Sanji's face if he really were to land on an island only to discover the horrifying truth of its inhabitant.

"Oh, I've got one," Franky said in-between chortles. "Zoro, in an apocalypse where samurai are no longer around, and the last remaining legendary sword is located on top of a remote mountain."

"That would only be a fair scenario if he is able to find the place first." Robin said with a smile.

"Heck, he'd probably search everywhere until he's old and haggard and he'd still climb up that mountain until he finds that sword." Franky contended.

"And how will he use it if he already has three swords?" Robin asked.

Franky snorted. "That's easy, he'd probably use his toes or something if he could. He'd do it even if he couldn't or cut off his legs and die trying."

"That sounds like him," Robin mused. "How about you? If you were in an apocalypse what would you do to reach something you want?"

Franky looked away for a moment before replying with a half-smile. "Funny you asked that, well, it wouldn't be something so much as some_one, _I mean, if it were the end of the world I think it'd be pretty lonely to go through it alone. I'd probably build a ship and travel to the end of the world to find that person and we could sail around exploring in a super version of Noah's ark."

Robin nodded, looking at him in thought with a smile. "That makes the two of us then, I too would find it lonely having to face the apocalypse alone by myself."

"In that case, you'd be the first person I look for if the end of the world ever approaches." Franky joked with a wide grin.

She laughed at his response, nodding her head in agreement. Franky then turned back to the computer and hovered its cursor playfully at the next playlist of videos. "Well, you up for another round of belly aching laughter before we get back down to business? I've got some comedy skits and a few slam poetry recitals if you're up for it."

Giving him the cue to go ahead, they relaxed into another round of laughs before settling back into their research notes in a significantly more vibrant mood, with Franky picking up his whistling from where he had left off when they first met.

* * *

A few paces away from his home, Law was startled by the piercing sound of screams and frightened yelps. Unlocking his front door, he discovered his suspicion was right when his eyes landed on Nami and his bunch of friends huddled around in front of the television with horrified eyes glued to its screen. Of course, it had to be Horror Movie Night.

Jean Bart was the first to notice his arrival, being relatively unshaken by the morbid details ongoing in the television. "Law, you're back early today."

A quick glance up at his clock showed that he was indeed earlier than usual. Normally, he would either spend the night over at Robin's place or head home after the catching the midnight movie.

Dumping his house keys on the table, he noticed the movie they were watching and headed over to lean behind the couch in amusement.

"Whose idea was it to watch the Human Centipede?" He asked, peering down at the sickened expressions on the faces below him. His eyes landed on Nami's pale countenance and he noted the way she held onto his yellow-rimmed mug as if her life depended on it.

"Mine." Nami said in a dead voice. He raised an eyebrow, not expecting her to answer.

"I didn't know you were into these kind of things." He said tauntingly.

"I'm not. It was a dare." She retorted back and winced at another horrendous scene.

"It's not even as bad as the second movie, much less the real thing." Law said offhandedly.

She turned to stare at him, her attention on him fully now. "You mean there's a _sequel_ that's _worse_ than this? And what do you mean, _the real thing_, don't tell me you did this in dissection class."

He scoffed derisively at her remark. "I was referring to dissection in general. What you're seeing on screen is nowhere near medically correct. The patients would have suffered internal hemorrhaging the moment they were cut open and the linking of one's digestive systems to another's rectum would have caused infection and bodily rejection to occur too soon for them to be alive enough to drag themselves along the floor."

"Well, thanks so much for your commentary, that's relieving to know." Nami said sarcastically and turned back to flinch at the screen. Beside her, Bepo was squeezing his eyes shut just as hard as she was squeezing the life out of him and Law's mug.

"Hey Law, why are you back this early?" Shachi asked from where he lay on the couch hugging a fluffy pillow to his chest next to Penguin.

"Nico-ya had to rush back to the lab for her research." He replied, watching the film with vague interest.

Nami turned to peer at him over her shoulder again. "She must be really busy, where'd you disappear to then?"

"Shakky's Bar with Zoro." He answered, watching her eyes widen a bit at his response.

"Oh, you guys had a blast drinking, I bet," she said with a light grin. "You two must have had a lot to talk about too, huh?"

He regarded her with a provocative smirk. "We did, we talked about Professor Hogback's request for Tony-ya to volunteer himself to be cut up on his operating table."

Nami's eyes grew huge as she stared at him with her mouth hanging agape. "No wonder he fainted."

"I take it you found that out yourself?" Law asked. A thought occurred to him and he found his smirk deepening. "Why does Zoro-ya refer to you as a witch?"

Nami rolled her eyes at him. "You're asking me that now? Go ask him if you're dying to find out. How would I know what directions his mind leads him into?"

"Is there a distinction between a good witch and a bad witch then?" He asked casually.

She shot him a confused look. "Huh? What are you talking about – forget it, there's as much difference between a good psychopath and a bad psychopath. Now go away you bad psychopath, you're interrupting my movie." Finishing, she turned back to resolutely face the television.

"Enjoy your film." He said mockingly as he shifted away from the couch and headed for his room.

After closing the door and locking it, he took a quick shower and got ready for bed, shutting the windows for good measure to block out the continuing shrieks of terror from the living room. It didn't take long for him to fall into a dreamless sleep given the high alcohol content in his blood and once the faint noises coming from outside faded into a slumbering silence.

He was surprised to discover he had a good night's rest the next morning as he slowly ambled out of bed and into the bathroom. A quick change of clothes later, he made his way about the house, briefly noting the absence of his friends. He had just turned into the living room when he was met with the peculiar vision of Nami curled up on his couch deathly still beneath a blanket, next to a pile of what looked to be his personal collection of DVDs and the shattered remains of his favorite mug.

He couldn't help but blink for a moment as he took the sight in before the connections clicked within his mind and he huffed in amusement. Bending over to gaze at her face, which looked to have been to hell and back, he waved a hand in front of her testing her reaction. She barely registered his presence in her dull-eyed state.

"Are you still alive or do I need to check your wrist for a pulse?" He asked dryly.

When she finally spoke up, her voice was a soulless drone. "What…what the hell did I watch?"

He raised an eyebrow at her question. "I believe it was my personal collection of extreme splatter and slasher films that are banned in numerous countries and unrated due to their highly controversial content."

She nodded dully in response. "I can…see that. Yeah…I can…still see that..."

He was surprised she had even considered watching them in the first place. The only other person he knew of who most probably did was the same guy whose room they had broken into with the disturbing painting. Not even Robin had agreed to his movies as she had stated them to be far too disgusting for her taste.

"Why did you watch them?" He asked, curious.

Her answer removed all doubt immediately. "Shachi said…he bet me five thousand…I wouldn't dare to watch your…personal movies."

"You are regretting this now, aren't you?" He asked in twisted amusement.

She seemed to snap back into life a little at his jeering question. "No, I'm collecting my five thousand from him."

"Don't blame me if you later on decide your sanity's not worth the five thousand dollars." He moved on towards the kitchen to fix himself a pot of coffee.

Her irritated voice called after his retreating back. "Just…shut up and make me a coffee too while you're at it."

He smirked as he peered down at his kitchen table, noting one missing spot amongst the array of glasses. "I can't, you broke my mug."

An angry pot of coffee and the exchanging of snarky insults later, Law found himself back in his daily routine, apart from the sweeping up of the remains of his mug and the time spent sorting the DVDs back into their respective cases.

* * *

A week later, he and Robin resumed their usual Friday date, this time to catch a late night movie after her research, which had ended earlier that day. She was in a considerably lighter mood than their previous date and he chose not to comment on it lest her disposition turn dampened by the reminder of her work.

As they stood in the movie queue waiting to buy their tickets, the two kids in front of them started a raging argument over the newest horror movie.

"You're real stupid if you think you're able to survive a zombie apocalypse with only your slingshot and water gun." The first kid turned to his friend with a smug smile.

The other immediately fired back an angry retort. "Who're you calling stupid! And it'll work 'cause it's holy water, idiot!"

"That's for vampires, stupid. It won't work on zombies. And you're too chicken to survive an apocalypse anyway."

"Oh yeah? Well, I bet you'll be the one crying home to mummy. You're on your own if it happens!"

"Whatever, I bet you five trading cards you're too chicken to watch it anyway."

"Deal! I'd watch it alone by myself and I'm so collecting those cards once it's over!"

Amused by the scene, Law looked over at Robin to find her chuckling slightly herself as well. He gave her an inquiring look but she merely smiled and shook her head at the kids, to which he gave his own answering shrug as they continued their wait in their mutual silence occasionally scattered with small talk.

* * *

**A/N: **PLEASE NOTE that I will be tagging Franky and Robin into this story after the next chapter and revising the summary a bit. I have come to realize that Frobin will be playing a bigger role in the plot and thus I feel that I should throw it out as fair warning. Again, thank you all for your kind reviews, they made my day too. :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next one will be a pain to write...but I will get through it!


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